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    yearsandyears
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      I have had a lot of stress and worry lately, and think along with a lack of proper sleep it has caused more intrusive thoughts , and weirder , more horrific than ever.   Every time I think I am handling them well,  I feel the need to bring on the really horrible thoughts on purpose when I am with the person they are about ( which breaks my heart) and then, only then can i lay the thought to rest and move on,maybe because it reassures me ?, but lately if / when I do that its not making a lot of difference , its just making me panic more over the thought, I then start all the self questioning  are you sure you feel the right emotion? are you sure you wouldn’t do that ? are you sure you  don’t want to and its really making me feel so down and even more distressed.

      Am I doing some sort of checking compulsion or is it because its always given me reassurance in the past to do this ? why cant I just move on any more?

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