I have had a lot of stress and worry lately, and think along with a lack of proper sleep it has caused more intrusive thoughts , and weirder , more horrific than ever. Every time I think I am handling them well, I feel the need to bring on the really horrible thoughts on purpose when I am with the person they are about ( which breaks my heart) and then, only then can i lay the thought to rest and move on,maybe because it reassures me ?, but lately if / when I do that its not making a lot of difference , its just making me panic more over the thought, I then start all the self questioning are you sure you feel the right emotion? are you sure you wouldn’t do that ? are you sure you don’t want to and its really making me feel so down and even more distressed.
Am I doing some sort of checking compulsion or is it because its always given me reassurance in the past to do this ? why cant I just move on any more?
