OCD or psychosis- please help me

[safParticipant]

Hi, I’m new to this site but I’m really struggling and in a bad way at the moment. I’ve had OCD since I was about 8 where I suffered from intrusive thoughts that upset/scared me. When I was at secondary school I would sit on my hands a lot so I knew I wasn’t swearing at anyone and would keep my lips closed tight so I didn’t say anything bad when walking past certain people. It’s probably only been in the last 5/6 years that I’ve realised it’s OCD but because I didn’t know what it was for a long time, I thought I was just dangerous. I’ve also had thoughts like ive poisoned drinks with bleach so I have to keep remaking them until it feels right. The thing that scares me more than anything is false memory OCD which can be immediate for me too. I’ve had 2 particularly bad episodes that I feel could of been more like psychosis as I feel maybe I lost touch with reality and it scares me so much. The episodes were over 19 years ago and I had to have counselling about 10 years ago as they were still in my mind. One nurse said that it sounded a bit like psychosis. I was ok for a long time after my counselling etc although maybe still a bit worried but was able to live a fairly normal life. Right now though I’m going through a very stressful time in my personal life with big changes coming up and now those 2 events are back in my head and I feel cant go on anymore. I’m constantly googling OCD, psychosis and other mental illnesses and I feel like maybe I don’t just have OCD and it scares me. Im also constantly asking my mom that of I’d done something bad then I would know by now, wouldn’t I? I’m just so depressed and scared all the time and I’m frightened to move on with life because I feel I can’t get this out my head as I feel something bad is going to happen. I spend hours and hours ruminating about it and I just can’t cope anymore. Sorry its such a long post but I wondered if anyone has any advice or a similar experience/worry.?

[Forum Moderators]

Forum Moderators here:

Thanks for posting on the forum and we’re sorry you haven’t had many replies yet. Please don’t take this personally; sometimes it takes a while for people to reply. We just want you to know that you’re never alone and OCD Action is here to support you.

If you’d like to talk to or email someone who understands OCD, please contact our OCD Action Helpline.

You can get confidential information about and support from a Helpline volunteer who understands how OCD can impact your life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

We hope this is helpful,

Forum Moderators

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

Forum Moderators here – just checking in, as it’s been a while since we replied to your topic.

We want to be sure you know that, in addition to contacting the OCD Action Helpline and Email Service, you can visit our website’s Resources page: https://ocdaction.org.uk/resources/

You’ll find lots of helpful web-based resources on topics such as:

• An introduction to OCD
• Assessment and Diagnosis
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with Exposure and Response Prevention
• Funding specialist treatment
• Getting a Yes from the NHS
• Good Quality CBT with ERP
• I am a parent of a young child
• Making the Most of Therapy
• Medication for OCD
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
• Preparing for a GP Appointment
• Primary Care for Adults
• Reassurance seeking
• Secondary Care for Adult
• Student Space: Management and Keeping Well
• Support at University
• Support for Families and Carers
• Treatment Options
• Treatments Not Recommended for OCD
• What to Look for in a Therapist
• Your Journey through the NHS

[Author]

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