Worried I agreed with the thought

[ocdsufferer85Participant]

hi I’m sorry I’m in a bad way at the moment

I was super upset and stressed about my health and life and bad luck one evening in April

I got an intrusive thought flying into my head saying “you agree with ocd now”

So ocd was saying I agree with my intrusive thoughts which I do not and never have

However because I was upset at life and so frusrated I’m worried I didn’t fight like I normally do

I had further thoughts about a similar theme to my fear and I agreed to something within that, but ocd convinced me almost immediately that I’d somehow agreed with the first intrusive thoughts which I don’t!

So it has gone on to saying “well you must have said you did in anger”

I have no memory of this but I definately felt like I’d done something and was convinced I agreed even though thinking back I have no memory of this!

It twisted the two things together somehow and I still don’t understand how I fell for it but the time has gone on and I am unable to trust my memory anymore

All I know is I didn’t want any of this and I haven’t changed in my heart but I am really struggling with guilt shame and fear that i am bad and that I’ve committed this sin 🙁

[SjefferyParticipant]

OCD is sneaky and loves playing tricks on you. It finds ways to convince you. My memory is affected. Most of the time though – if the thought is a “what if” then it’s probably an ocd thought. I try positive self talk, deep breathing and mindfulness to counteract or at least delay it. Actually delaying your response to the mental urge does help sometimes. Oh and yes this forum can be a tad too quiet unfortunately. How are you today?

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

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