Struggling Mama Testing OCD went wrong

[normapetersonParticipant]

This is so hard! I did do it purposely .Is this a compulsion? Did I do something inappropriate or sexual toward my kid? I had a weird moment that I moved my shoulder towards my kid on purpose and I questioned why over and over and over. Well I was trying to to figure out if I did it in a weird way and obviously couldn’t. So I was like what does it even mean to move toward her in a weird way? The whole spiral of questions. Then I was sitting beside her and was like I’m gonna try to figure this out so I tried to purposely graze by her with my head in a weird or sexual way to see if it actually meant anything or was nonsense.I may have grazed her hair with my head barely and now I’m completely convinced I acted on a bad thought and did something awful to my child that I’ll never be able to let go of. I try to purposely do it in a weird or inappropriate way just to prove to myself how stupid it was. But that backfired. I think it might me considered checking or testing but I’m convinced I’m wrong and basically don’t deserve life. I’m not asking for anyone to give me a magic answer I know there isn’t one. Anyone been through something like this?

[Forum Moderators]

Forum Moderators here:

Thanks for posting on the forums – we just like you to know that if you want to talk to someone who understands, you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline – our Helpline volunteers provide confidential information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your entire life.

Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

You can also find out about support groups on our website. These offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, you can look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Look in the section “Find Help” and then under “Listing Types”, choose “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is here to help and support you.

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

[Forum Moderators]

Forum Moderators here:

Thanks for posting on the forums – we just like you to know that if you want to talk to someone who understands, you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline – our Helpline volunteers provide confidential information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your entire life.

Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

You can also find out about support groups on our website. These offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, you can look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Look in the section “Find Help” and then under “Listing Types”, choose “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is here to help and support you.

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

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