I’ve had ocd since in teens holding light switches ,keeping things in order and in place as examples. now i am 55 years old and over the years everything has spiraled much worse. i have kept dairies for years about everything i have done on a daily bases from simple things as going to toilet putting a light on off as examples to as much as hearing a noise outside i go checking what it was and mainly its cars and all day i text my self cars coming and going in the street. i have done this compulsion about cars for about 25 years and along with all the other obsessions it gets very exhausting and draining on body and mind. over the last few months i have started panicking after conversations with neighbours. after the conversation overthinking it for hours and thinking did they mean this or that and are they making that bit up and all other sort of conclusions. i then panic for days wanting to ask them my thoughts and questions but i do not as i start avoiding them to not sound absolutely stupid and id be going over the whole conversation. my ocd obsessions are many some have come and gone over the years but this one has been making me very ill and anxious and not sleeping for hours even though the medication i am on has always helped with my sleep. does anyone have a similar symptom to this wanting answers ,validation? i was lied to for years by my family and i know this and bullying at school messed my head up,any thoughts or help GREATLY APPRECIATED.
