I am now at a place where my ocd fears are so much easier to manage since doing ERP and am on the right medication. I have been feeling so much happier although I now find myself constantly thinking about how I was 30 years ago ,before knowing that I had ocd. I feel so guilty of all the things I did for reassurance which I now know were testing compulsions. I ended up having a mental breakdown and I worry how all of this and the testing compulsions which were all based around my children could have affected them.
They do not remember any of it, and I never ever harmed them or anyone else although as some of the horrible compulsions involved them I am getting into a bit of a state over this. I find myself wanting to tell them everything about the things I did , but as they dont remember I feel it would be unfair as it obviously had no impact on them, and it would probably me just to make myself feel a bit better, is this just another kind of compulsion? i Am I thinking too much into this as I myself was so traumitised at the time.
Please help me if you can as I have been so happy that I am now managing my ocd and I have had this horrible thing for 45-50
