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    tamagochi
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      Hello everyone,

      I had OCD crisis in my past: love OCD, OCD with sleeping …

      After few years of peace without OCD I have just fallen down again.

      This time the “object” of my OCD is different and I am not even sure if this is OCD or it is something that would affect everyone in a similar way with high doses of anxiety, fears and doubts.

      Few days ago, I met woman for a coffee after contacting her by a contact website application.
      In the previous conversations she told me that she had a daughter, when I gave her my phone number to continue chatting by WhatsApp she told me that she had my phone number and that she thought that I met her in the past in a pub 7 or 8 years ago but she couldn’t recall the pub name. I also noticed during the WhatsApp conversations that she sent me her daughter pictures without my request and she even told me that she would come with her daughter for the first coffee which I refused because I consider it inappropriate for a first real meeting between strangers to appear with children.

      Then in the meeting She asked me if I remembered her and I did not remember her at all. Then she told me exactly where we met in the past (the name of the pub) but she kept hiding when. I remembered that I was in that pub only one night in my life, I remembered that I met a woman and I ended up in her house. I remembered as well that I disliked her because her place and her looked crazy.
      Then I remembered that she phoned me few days or few weeks after that encounter saying that she would like to meet me again but I told her straight that I was not interested.
      Then I checked my phone history SMSs and I could find the SMSs exchanged with that woman the night that I met her in the pub, because she left the pub before me and then she invited me to her house and gave me her address.

      The horrible thing and when I started to panic was that I found out with these SMSs the date of my encounter with her: it was 5 years ago!!!!
      So I am terrified now thinking that I could be the father of her Daughter.

      I know for sure that this woman was hiding from the beginning the place where we met and the date.
      She did not want me to know who she was, she was sending me pictures of her  daughter without my request and she wanted to come to the first coffee with her daughter!. It is all weird!.
      She told me that she is divorcing the Father of her Daughter and that the Father of her Daughter has no contact with the Child for months… I think it is all a lie. Or probably it is not in her interest that it will be found out that her husband or ex husband is not the biological father of her Daughter.

      I am stuck with these thoughts, analysing everything around the conversations and trying to find out her lies and the purpose of her lies.

      I would like to move forward but the thoughts are repeating again and again, the doubts are killing me and the anxiety is extremely high.

      With this scenario there would be only a way to get out of doubt: DNA tests but then a new spiral of doubts will start: What to do morally if the tests are positive?, not to mention the financial and legal consequences.

      Is this OCD?, are my concerns real or it is just all in my head?.
      Why did that woman hid the time of myself encounter with her?, why did she got nervous when I told her during the coffee that I thought that the encounter with her was 5 years ago?, and then she said that she got very stressed with those kind of meetings to camouflage the fact that it was my finding about the date of the encounter what made her nervous.

      My guess is that she probably lives in a big lie, cheating her husband or ex husband and now -during divorce- it is not in her interest to show the truth about how she cheated the husband because it will make her lose all Child support and alimony.

      Do all my guessing makes sense or I am freaking out and making it up all in my head?. Am I in a reasonable concern or Am I in an OCD crisis?

      I guess that writing here it is also a compulsion because I would like to hear: “it is OCD, it is not real…I would not worry”.

      Many thanks for reading and any feedback would be highly appreciated.

       

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