I’m attracted to domineering, manipulative people…why?

[finesseParticipant]

Over the years, I’ve gone from being normal and liking nice people to frankly being attracted to horrible ones. And this really seems to follow the pattern of my intrusive thoughts getting stronger and stronger. The people I want to be friends (or more) with are domineering and manipulative, and love to make me feel guilty about everything.

They can be the most horrible, selfish people and very cruel, they lie to me, and this has been going on for years. I am almost completely controlled by my intrusive thoughts, and think, automatically that this is all my fault. Will I ever stop these thoughts and these people leading me on till I go completely mad?

I want to be friends with good people the kind who will never let you down. But how? I know my thoughts and friends are dangerous, and I have serious issues with them, but they know I am a pushover, who they can embarrass and be awful.

I want to be like I was was in the past, and like nice people and not have these horrible thoughts all the time.

But my thoughts tell me I want to be accepted by them…but they’re extremity unpleasant peolpe… They are everywhere, and I can’t escape them…or at least my thoughts won’t let me.

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

Forum Moderators here – We want you to know that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline and Email Service to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential and unbiased help, information and support for people with OCD. Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand OCD and how it can impact an entire life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

You can also find out about support groups on our website. They offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support and encourage other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, you can look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Look in the section “Find Help” and then under “Listing Types”, choose “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Regards,

Forum Moderators

[Author]

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