It isn’t easy at all! And I feel so guilty but I know that isn’t me and I don’t know what I was thinking that night or what was going on, what scares me is that it felt like it wouldn’t phase me, but at the same time if I wasn’t bothered why was I worrying about “what if I did cheat and can’t remember” like if I could really go through with it then why was I feeling like that? It’s just horrible, I don’t know how my husband would take it if I told him he knows about other stuff in the past about my ocd and intrusive thoughts and he’s been really great about it, but this one just feels like that’s what I really wanted to do and it’s upsetting me xx
