Desperate for advice

[yearsandyearsParticipant]

For over 50 years Ive had every type of ocd there is, they always come down to the same thing , not wanting to ever harm the people I love more than anything.  I had got on top of this and was managing well, but then something entered my head which has turned my world upside down again.

I had a horrible intrusive thought after reading someones post about their ocd.and it keeps replaying in my head saying ‘what if I had that type of intrusive  thought about wanting bad things to happen’ to people, but then my mind went crazy with anxiety ,& panic and I tried to calm down by saying to myself , ‘You wouldn,t do that, you can say anything in your head , they are just meaningless words which is what I have always read, you can say let this or that ****** happen and my mind just kept going over and over all the horrific things you could say , but would never ever want to happen or have in your head

Now It just keep repeating in my head of all the worst things you could think ,like saying let this or let that happen, not meaning anyone in particular,  but I cannot get it out of my head .that I even said those horrible things in my head even though I was just trying to calm myself down by using them as examples ,, I do not want horrible words and things like that in my head  What can I do as Ive never had anything like this before? I feel as though by trying to convince  myself that they are only words that I was actually saying them things. and they held meaning. Its like my ocd has run out of things to think of.  I have never felt as low as I do at the moment and I have had some really rough times, it really feel like I am saying those things about people I love more than ive ever loved anyone.  sorry to go on but I am desperate.

[yearsandyearsParticipantParticipant]

the last sentence on my post  read

”it really feel like I am saying those things about people I love more than Ive ever loved anyone”

should have said

That is definitely not the case  sorry to go on but I am desperate.

[yearsandyearsParticipantParticipant]

The end part should have read

it really feel like I am saying those things about people I love more than ive ever loved anyone.which I definitely am not ! sorry to go on but I am desperate.

[Forum Moderators]

Hi

We want you to know that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline and Email Service to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential and unbiased help, information and support for people with OCD (and their family members too). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand OCD and how it can impact a family’s life.

Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

You can also find out about support groups on our website – these are open to people with OCD and some involve family members too. They offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support and encourage other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, you can look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Look in the section “Find Help” and then under “Listing Types”, choose “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Regards,

Forum Moderators

[Author]

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