So I haven’t been on here for a while, but I thought I’d give a bit of an update on my current situation.
For the most part, my ocd has been more leveled down. The thoughts are still there, and I do get anxious at times when I have them (especially at night when I try to sleep), but I’ve accepted them for the most part. I don’t mean that I agree with what they tell me, but what I mean is that I’ve accepted that ocd will be a part of me for however long it’ll stay with me. These thoughts and images will flash in my mind and the best I can do is just let it pass on its own without addressing what it could mean. Sometimes I do have bad days where I can’t take it and I fall into a loop of compulsions, but lately, I’ve been keeping that to a minimum. And really, that’s just how it’s gonna be for however long I have this disorder. Hell, it could be for the rest of my life even. I don’t care at this point. I’ve learned a lot through my experiences with ocd and with my therapist. I think I’m able to handle it all myself too. I usually write out all my frustrations down too. I’ve also used videogames as an escape, and it helps. I just can’t believe that it’s almost been a year since I was diagnosed with ocd. Back then, my goal was to find some sort of “cure” for my condition and forever be free from whatever it was doing to me. But now I’ve realized and come to terms with the fact that there may never be an actual cure for whatever I have. All I can do is just accept ocd and move on with my life. Some days will be good, others will be bad, but in the end, it’s all just a slow and steady battle.
