Was doing better with OCD stuff lately, I was preoccupied trying to still keep in contact with female friends even tho the OCD frequently intruded and made me feel like I was in love with them or something.
It then switched to real event OCD for a time and forced me to drop out of University because I gave in. Then I also turned down a job offer because of guilty feeling. Then I remembered something bad I did at a pervious job and panicked about that for a while.
OCD then came back again and I ended up back on this forum.My doubts this time are about whether I liked the way women smelled like pheremones and things… I am now wondering if I really am a lesbian, because I feel that I am one and then I begin to panic about it. The problem is that I was diagnosed with OCD and I cling to that. I was told people with OCD aren’t what they fear, but I don’t feel that’s really true. In my case I might be a lesbian who just wouldn’t admit it to herself. I haven’t seen a therapist in ages because of covid, but I doubt it will help. Anyway, just venting. Reassurance doesn’t help one bit but I was panicking so much I couldn’t deal with it. It’s been a terrible night really.
