Hi everyone
I was hoping to get some help on an intrusive thought i’ve been having. I’ve had POCD for the past 8 years now, and have had multiple ups and downs over the years. Last week I had an incident and i’ve been having extreme anxiety over it.
I had come back home from the pub (I was with a friend) and I was lying down scrolling on my phone. I was slightly drunk still not too much. I started touching myself and then lightly [content removed by moderator] while scrolling on instagram, not to anything in particular. I was watching a video of a couple talking in their car whilst their infant was in the back seat. at the time I was [content removed by moderator] (not to the video particularly) but then i saw the child and realised i was [content removed by moderator]. I can’t remember exactly what happened or what I was thinking at the time but I feel like I was [content removed by moderator] by the child. When i’ve gone back to watch the video I feel like i’m getting aroused even though i know Im not and the reason I feel a certain way when i look at the kid is probably because the child was really cute. Either way I feel like a monster because of what I did and that I was somehow aroused or turned on and therefore [content removed by moderator] to it. The fact I can’t remember exactly what I was thinking at the time makes it worse because I can’t refute or challenge it as i’m unsure.
Is this usual for POCD? Please could someone help as i feel awful and like im going mad. I know i shouldn’t ask for reassurance but i feel it’s the only thing that might help??
Thank you so much
