My OCD thoughts revolve around my child

[Scared123Participant]

Hi everyone, I’m a mom of a beautiful 2 year old boy. I have been struggling with OCD for almost a year and recently it has latched on to my child. I am in great mental pain and I don’t know how much more I can handle.
My OCD journey started in February after hearing a story of someone who ended her life. I spiraled. I was convinced that I too would end up like her. Shortly after my ocd latched on to my son. Thoughts like he should die or questioning my love for him. All the thoughts come after hearing stories or even reading stuff on forums.
I was Ok for about 4 months until 6 weeks ago when I had another intrusive thought about it. It was harm themed and it nearly killed me. I’ve been depressed and full of guilt over it and just when I thought things couldn’t get worse this last weekend they did.
I had been listening to a podcast about someone’s OCD story and she had harm ocd, POCD and something else.  Hours later while I was changing my child I had a thought like “what if I get POCD theme?” I spiraled again. The fear of what if thoughts coming on, I’ve had images of stuff happening to my child. I’m questioning everything about myself. I know I’m a good person. I’ve never hurt a single soul. My biggest problem is I dont How much more I can handle. It’s so painful and my brain is exhausted.
I do have an appointment with a therapist this week. I feel so hopeless and so alone. I fear that these thoughts will haunt me forever.

[Tooold 55Participant]

First ,deep breath sounds like some nasty ocd.

I know with all confidence I’m not messaging a mother who has harm intent and simply because these thoughts scare you and I’m sure your avoiding them ,and the reason I’m so sure is because I’ve had them and sometimes I still do .

You are definitely not a.one and these thoughts are really common ,in fact one of the most common

 

It’s frightening in the moment it will, get easier and with therapy you’ll see it’s just your mind like mine playing thought tricks and it won’t be so scary ,promise,

 

 

 

[hoping4happinessParticipant]

<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hello, I am also currently going through this and questioning everything about myself. It’s so scary but it’s nice to hear others are experiencing the same and I am not alone.</p>

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

We’re sorry you’re going through a difficult time with OCD and we want you to know that OCD Action offers several types of support for you.

You can contact the OCD Action Helpline and Email Service to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential information and support for people with OCD. Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.orguk

Support groups for people with OCD offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people. Read information about UK-based groups here:

• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Under “Find Help”, choose “Listing Types”, then “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is here to support you.

Forum Moderators

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