I did something about a few months ago I regret and feel disturbed by but I can’t recall if this was ocd or not i didn’t get anything from this or some kind of sick kick. I remember wondering does my dog care if I leave him I eventually broke down and did it I picked him up and I remember i started to cry and hitting myself at the realization of what I had just done. My dog obviously doesnt care but i do i felt disturbed by what I did and horrified I felt guilty and horrified and felt like I needed to talk to someone about it.
I then remember a few days later becoming obssessed with the thought and as I was about to do it again I felt this moment of just I don’t actually wanna do this do I’ve had a few of those moments where its like I actually don’t have the desire to do this do I.
I acted upon some harmless obsessive thoughts recently such as reach upward at nothing upon a few others, however the fear then becomes will i act upon the sick disgusting thoughts.
I try to ignore the thoughts but its like I don’t know how to i just feel stuck.
