How can I live with this???

[Bex1979Participant]

Does anyone understand how terrible it can be to live with these endless evil intrusive thoughts?

I’ve noticed that people rarely want to be around me, I think its because I told them I have this type of ocd. It’s difficult to think of others when you’re living with ocd. But I want to be a good friend. How can I live with these thoughts and be a friend too?

[Forum Moderators]

Forum Moderators here:

Please remember that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential help, information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your entire life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

[anon1985Participant]

Best advice is just push through it I have come to realise as I am older that most of it the thoughts were bullshit

Act positive even if it’s front and keep the dark thoughts for when your alone friends socialise can be a distraction

[Mindful Journey To JoyParticipant]

Hello!

Firstly, I want to acknowledge the immense challenge you’re facing. Living with intense, intrusive thoughts can indeed feel overwhelming and isolating. It’s important to remember that many people with OCD have similar experiences, so you’re certainly not alone in this struggle.

Here are some strategies that might help you manage your thoughts and maintain your friendships:

1. Sharing Selectively: While it’s important to be open with close friends, consider how much detail you share about your OCD. Sometimes, sharing the broad strokes rather than the specifics can be enough for friends to understand and offer support without feeling overwhelmed.
2. Educate Your Friends: Often, people’s reactions stem from a lack of understanding. Educating your friends about OCD and what it really means can help them be more empathetic and supportive. It’s also helpful to explain what kind of support you find beneficial.
3. Setting Boundaries: It’s okay to set boundaries for yourself. If certain topics or situations trigger your OCD, let your friends know and ask for their cooperation in avoiding these triggers when possible.
4. Mindfulness and Presence: Practice being present in the moment. When spending time with friends, try to focus on the activity or conversation at hand. Mindfulness exercises can help you stay grounded and engaged, even when intrusive thoughts appear.
5. Balancing Self-Care and Social Interaction: Take care of your mental health first. If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a step back and focus on self-care. Equally, try not to isolate yourself. Balancing self-care with social interaction is key.
6. Seek Professional Help: If you haven’t already, consider therapy. A therapist can help you develop strategies to manage your OCD and maintain your social relationships.
7. Remember Your Value as a Friend: Your worth as a friend isn’t diminished by your OCD. Everyone has challenges. What makes you a good friend is your ability to care, listen, and be there for others, even if you’re struggling with your own issues.
8. Patience and Self-Compassion: Be patient and kind to yourself. Building and maintaining friendships while managing OCD is challenging, and it’s okay to have ups and downs in this process.

In the spirit of Rumi’s wisdom: “The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.” Embrace your experiences, including the difficult ones, as they are part of your journey. They can teach you resilience, empathy, and understanding, qualities that can enrich your friendships in unique ways.

Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. You’re not alone in this, and with each step, you’re growing stronger. If you need someone to talk to or further guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. You’ve got this! ??

[Author]

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