Reply To: I am a not a good man

[Anon35ParticipantParticipant]

And I even earlier was maybe having a thought as normal, thoughts or what not about women blah blah, and then I then went to be with my wife, so I know I’m directing it to the correct person which I think is a sign I’m not a bad person at all, but I’m having a hard time handling the process of thoughts and concerned about us splitting up and everyone laughing at me.

They split up because he thinks about someone at work, then my colleague knows then the whole world knows, then I’m totally regarded as a complete nobody.

Men cheat and don’t even feel this bad, probably don’t even think twice about the damage.  Here I am being a husband torn to pieces for what I have made her feel like a that, but at the same time.

She said look I am just getting used to it all, and still says love you night.  So maybe I have to focus on how I handle this and stop interfering with how she handles things.

I just feel hurt that she’s ok with me watching online material, says it’s no issue but thinking about a women Is different because that women she regards as uglier than her.

I said I’d stop thinking about normal people ill make an effort not to, but I know that won’t happen, it’s not possible for a man, so I’d just be lying.  She has been saying no don’t do that so I think thanks for understanding, I will do my best to help you feel ok about it.  Then this incident jjst tears a hole in my heart.  I’m starting to think yeah I was foolish, but I have always gave and took all our marriage, and I’ve always let you make muck ups.

She says she and her friend were jjst friends and I said I know that’s why I was ok with it after a while and I’m glad I was, can’t you do the same for me?  She’s a work friend who I like to think about now and again, that’s it, and I will think about hundreds of different women before we die.

Please if anyone is reading this, I know it’s just madness to read or quite entertaining, just respond.  Tell me your stories.