Homepage Forums Support From Our Forum Community Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Wasting my life ruminating but can’t let go

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      Hi everyone,

      I have looked on these forums many times in the past, it’s helpful to know that other people have similar struggles and am not alone. This is my first post.

      I have suffered with mental health issues for over 10 years when I was originally diagnosed with GAD. I’ve had multiple periods of time being on and off anti depressants and tried various forms of therapy, I’ve been with my most recent therapist since March last year. Over the years it has become more clear that it is OCD which my therapist has diagnosed me with.

      Whilst therapy is helping, I still find myself getting caught up in these anxious thoughts that I simply can’t let go of from time to time. Every time I feel I’m getting better, it catches me off guard.

      Most of my obsessions focus on either false memories (mainly around cheating on my partner or with friends partners) and built from past events. There is often no rhyme or reason why I focus on a particular past memory, it just crops up and I seem to latch onto it.

      My most recent obsession is that I’ve been too flirty with my colleague in the past, I’ve been going over and over in my head, trying to remember every conversation. Even charged up my old work phone to try and look for old messages, pictures, anything to give me a clue.

      I’ve spoken to my boyfriend about it, he has been really supportive, but then I question whether I have told the story/ situation correctly? Trying to remember my thoughts from the past as well, did I feel like I wanted to be with this guy!?

      I just want to be happy, am I having these thoughts because it’s OCD or is it because I’m just a bad person?!

      Please help! Any guidance or advice is appreciated

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