The last ten years of contamination and checking ocd. And where I seem to be now

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Hi everyone… In our lungs, as we breathe, there are delicate structures called Alveoli. They connect the outside air to our bloodstream, in a process called ‘Gaseous exchange’, where molecules of carbon dioxide are exchanged with molecules of oxygen. We breathe in fresh air, we exhale carbon dioxide, amongst other things. It is a continual process.

Could we likewise say that, When we hold another persons’ hand, we are performing ‘Germeous exchange’?  After all, we will, quite naturally, take up some of the ‘Normal flora’ of the skin of the other person, whilst simultaneously giving them some of ours… This has always happened. For centuries, right up until Covid stopped us, it was normal to shake hands in greeting. And yet, not everyone uses those ‘Jet engine’ hand dryers in loos… I would suggest that most people actually probably don’t. And yet we have no pandemic of food poisoning…  Let’s be honest with ourselves, When was the last time you had tummy-ache?  I simply don’t remember, it was that long ago. In fact, I actually used some ‘Cold relief’ tablets a few days ago, for the first time in months… And fast food restaurants are doing a roaring trade at present. Finger food’ as I like to call it.

So, maybe we actually strengthen each other… And that’s a good thing, Right?

Certain amounts of ‘contamination’, or should I say ‘Bontamination’, are beneficial, and, some may say, an essential part of living in a less than perfect world. Even the air is polluted, and yet, people living in cities somehow cope with it. When we see a glorious sunset, the colours are largely due to atmospheric pollution, that has been there for quite a few generations at least…

Let’s take a few gentle risks… Let’s defy the germs a little… That is what CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) helps us to do. With guidance from a professional, and done in a structured way. It took me two courses of twelve plus sessions to get me on the road to recovery… My first task, was to go into a supermarket, and pick up a baking size potato… Handle it, then place it back on the display. Then, and without cleaning my hands in any way, pick up an apple, place it back on the display.  For the first few times, I would need to buy the apple, so that only I would suffer and become ill. I never was ill of course. Nowadays, if I really wanted to, I could very likely handle the potato, and then handle all the apples, bread, cheese, all without worrying, because I now know from my own experience, that that would be going rather to extremes… And yet, everyone who buys loose, baking size potato’s (Delicious with butter) will then go on to handle everything else into their trolley or basket, that the checkout operator will handle, between customers, and so on… And yet, people don’t get ill, do they? And supermarkets always have that nice smell of bread cooking… Nothing to do with bread sales of course, but simply to make us feel hungry so buy more than what we went in for…

I’ve been known to come out of a supermarket with full bags, but having completely forgotten the one specific item I’d gone in for! But that’s just me…

Tomorrow, I will need to buy some milk… For as long as I can remember, Before the bottle goes in a bag, I always have checked that the blue or green plastic screwcap is on tight…

More later…

God bless you for reading…

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Hi everyone… Today, Whilst out shopping, it was a metal outside seat in town…  Do you remember going to the local playpark when you were a child? Swings, slides, and roundabouts… The red rocking horse… Did you also have sandwiches, or a picnic at the park? With Mum and Dad. Some will remember picnic baskets… Long rides on pedal cycles, and on a hot day stopping at a shop for a bottle of milk or fizzy drinks… Especially after fixing a tyre puncture with those weird puncture repair kits in tins. Our hands would never have been clean as we munched on potato crisps with the little blue salt bags in… We’ve survived, haven’t we?  We sure have!  And at the seaside, riding a bicycle along the promenade… Sitting on those benches, where we find that nowadays, the seagulls prefer  ‘cooked’ fish and chips (!).  Did Enid Blyton’s famous five ever wash their hands? If they did it wasn’t mentioned, and they got up to all sorts of scrapes… We’d crawl about on the ground, wearing out the knees in our trousers, and toes of our shoes… Then it was straight to school dinners, no time to wash hands first. We used metal coins to buy ice cream from a vending van, running outside as soon as we heard the music in the street. And we have probably become stronger for the experience. Sausage rolls from a well known bakery… No water, no antibac, no nothing… And, with the knowledge I gained through practicing CBT, I know that neither I, nor anyone else will be ill as a result. So, no need to feel concerned about anyone else, due to my actions today. If they were to become ill overnight, it would not be down to me, but someone else they came into contact with. My research bears this out. I’m free… Free! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Tomorrow I go to the gym… I only wipe down equipment, ‘After’ I have used it, unless I see the person before me on that particular equipment not doing so. I think I’m getting stronger… I’m not able to use the pool, they have builders in for a short time, but I never worry about the lockers… If they look reasonably clean, that is good enough for me, I’m no grubbier than anyone else… It is an acceptable risk that we all take, every day of our lives. We actually breathe ‘dirty’ air. And there is no way our water is totally sterile by the time we get to drink it.

Have you ever played a guitar? They won’t be perfectly clean… Yet a group of us might pass them from person to person… The old school ‘Recorder’ , That squealed if we blew it too hard. We’d share those as well…

Drums and tambourines… Impossible to clean… And we are still here to tell the tale…

So today, I have tried to not give any time to worrying… Instead, I concentrate on happy stuff.

As a person of faith, I now choose to operate the J.O.Y. Principle…

Jesus first, then Ourselves, and only then, Yes, everyone else. That way prevents burnout, when we are trying to be nice to everyone else, in a vain attempt to get them to be nice to us… Try it, It works for anyone.

Tomorrow I’m gonna have a go at making stickers for my keyboard flight case…

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Okay… Today it was the gym again… Is everything clean enough? Well, they have a policy of us using wetwipes to just wipe the bits we touch on the equipment, just once, after use, and before moving on to something else. A quick wipe, not a ‘deep clean’. We can then go through to the cafe for toast and coffee. It is a well known company, nationwide, with a fantastic reputation to uphold.  And no one actually gets ill… If they did, the tabloids would have a field day with it. But we are okay. I really love going there. The people are nice, and the exercise not too strenuous. And the swimming pool is warm and really, really nice.

In the  gym, the positive advantages massively outweigh any disadvantages, which are very few, if any. Okay, some people don’t wipe their use of equipment, but that is their risk…  We are back to the thing about being able to hear the jet engine hand dryers going when people come out of the toilets… And that is rarer than many would like to have us believe… Yet we survive…

I went to the bank with my wife, and while she was talking, I just grabbed the only chair available, and sat on it, not bothering to examine it first. And I didn’t even see any anti-bac gel on the way in… Funny how it tends to be seen on the way out Lol…

I have in my possession two, teenage musical keyboard instruments… One for gigging, and one for at home. I have never, ever used any soap of any kind on either of them. I got them both secondhand, so others have touched them a lot before me… Is that okay? Well, it has been so far, and that is reliable evidence in my defence. We can all live like that. Take a risk, be reasonably clean, and give your natural defences something to strengthen on, And other peoples… After all, they’ll be already doing the same with us… In a supermarket, stuff is touched probably at least twice before it goes into our basket or trolley… And then the till operator, who has also touched everybody else’s stuff, will then handle our stuff into bags! And let’s be honest, we don’t wash every packet at home before opening it, do we? And likewise, neither does anyone else… So we are safe, we can sleep tonight… If someone tries to sue me for tummy-ache, my defence will completely dismantle any evidence that anyone thinks they could put up against me, because, you see, their hands are no cleaner than mine… Just think about how we can all apply that to our own lives… And sleep soundly at bedtime… More later,

God bless you for reading,

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Hi everyone, What about when a parcel arrives? I had a small box arrive, with an item I found on ebay. I was eating cheese on toast, whilst opening the box. It was a couple of metal drawer handles, from France, via a dealer. I continued eating my toast. At one time, I would have antibacterials allover it. But this time was different… I have got away with this before. I have natural resistance,  and so do you… I  cannot make you ill… And likewise,  you won’t make me ill… We have reasonably clean hands etc. So this all happened a few days ago, and of course, no ill effects. To be honest,  I  didn’t expect any… If I had worried  about, it would have been pointless , an awful waste of time, So depressing..

More tomorrow

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Today it was a buffet… All finger food. Anyone ill? Of course not. Think of the times when you go to the bathroom  in a friends house, and the bar of soap is dry… And no antibacterial soap or gel… It works the same way as the absence of the noise from the jet engine hand driers…

There is still no reaction to the parcel and the delicious cheese on toast…

And what about cold beefburgers? Cooked, cooled, and wrapped in foil. Then, lft in a haversack of holiday clothing for a couple of days… I  will have to get back to you on that one, cos I am eating them now, in a bedroom, with unwashed hands, typing this on an unsanitized tablet computer…

More tomorrow…

God bless you for reading,

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Today it was a cafe within a large homeware store… The cutlery to be precise.  The containers holding the cutlery on end. Knives and spoons blade downwards, leaving the handles protruding upwards, for ease of selection by the assistant. The forks however, were prongs upward. I guess that this had been the case all morning. Every single fork used in that cafe was handled by the prongs… Shall we guess at about 100 times during the opening hours… All ‘Bontaminated’… The thing is, no one will become ill as a result. Fingers will have been used to eat huge pieces of cake… Sausage rolls… pasties… None of the customers will have washed their hands prior, The customer toilets are way off on the other end of the store… I  myself lifted my trolleybasket up onto the seat, so that it wouldn’t be in anyone’s way. Some years ago, I would have left without buying anything… But, let’s be realistic,  it is no worse than cheese sliced out of the see-through plastic wrapper. Or an apple without washing it first. Come to think of it, fruit can only ever be rinsed under the water tap… No antibacterials,  they would ruin the flavour. So, when our cbt therapist suggests the potato/apple routine, we need not fear doing harm to ourselves or indeed, anyone else.  And let’s wonder, Do supermarkets ever get successfully  sued? Well, No… They don’t,  cos if they did, it would be allover the newspapers and TV. Reputations would be ruined.

I do some spray painting tomorrow,  with a large fan, and all windows wide open all day.

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Well, the painting worked out okay, I got the fumes out of my room before sleeping in there. And No, nothing in the local news on TV about the Cafe. So, all is good. I would have worried needlessly, and probably made myself ill in the process.

Tomorrow, it is church… Everything has been moved around, so I have no idea where I’ll be sitting… I know most people there by name now, so conversation will still happen, and that is nice for me.

I went to the local recycling centre yesterday… It is amazing what people throw away. I’ve had stuff in worse condition in my home!  Like going to carboot sales… Stuff we actually had similar of, and got rid of, years ago! Is it clean? Who knows, it is second hand after all. The only places to wash hands are the toilet cubicles made of plastic, that rarely, if ever have water and soap. To be truthful, you count yourself lucky to find toilet paper after the first hour or so… And yet, they don’t get banned… Hundreds of people, using the loos, touching the sale items, the money, the ice cream cornets…

What about ring-pull opening cans of food and drink… Are they ever really clean? Of course they aren’t, and we’ve had ring-pull cans for maybe 50 plus years now.  So that one miniscule speck on something is not necessarily a danger, even when we are able to actually see it. So, in ordinary life, the sooner we get back to just being reasonably clean, the better for us and the planet.

Okay… What about camping holidays… In tents, or caravan sites where we had to use what were weirdly termed as ablutions… Not everyone washed their hands… Or even washed, cos they were ‘on holiday’.  And pubs, with the sample peanuts on the bar… A medical survey was carried out in the 1900’s where traces of urine were found on the peanuts in the bowl, I don’t know if people got ill, but a lot would have developed thirst from the salt on them. So they sold more liquids!

A great sales tactic… I need to sleep now, it has been an exhausting couple of days…

God bless you for reading,

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

I had occasion to visit a dentists practice yesterday. Wow! They have changed a bit in 15 plus years! No smell of ether… They still have the obligatory tiny transistor radio in reception… But everything else is different. No hissing of drills… People seem to enjoy being there… I might see if I can get on their list. .

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Well, I have not done anything more regarding getting on the dentists list… My teeth are in a sorry state, but as I’m a child of the 1960’s I have a well justified fear of the dentist. Anaesthetics that didn’t work. ‘Bicycle pump’ sized syringes as injectors, The horrible taste of pink mouthwash, and those horrible old drills with the cream coloured frames, and loads of pulleys and drive belts… Then the air drill, with the freezing blast of air to make us scream…  X-rays, The dreaded hygienist who spoke to the  adult father me, as if I was a naughty little schoolchild…  Terrible memories. They used guilt therapy in an unsuccessful way to make us look after our teeth better… Anyway, I digress…

I have to wear glasses… And I never cease to be amazed, just how often they need cleaning, so that I can focus on anything whilst wearing them. I tend to use my tee shirt as a polishing cloth… I wear them all the time, I really don’t know where the case is, and thus the proper polishing cloth… I never antibacterialise them… It would probably ruin the special coatings on the lenses.

Tomorrow will be another day to look forward to… We visit two of our grandchildren tomorrow… It keeps me young at heart. I’m also expecting a parcel imminently, something very special. It is second hand… It won’t be sterile… But it will be a lot of fun. It even needs mending! When perfect, they cost a lot more… And anyway, I like mending things! (At least, when they actually work afterwards!).

I listen to the radio at night to help me sleep… A fairly local commercial station, easyish going music, but great stuff as I awaken in the morning…  I’m gonna switch it on now… It has very good speakers, so the sound is warm and comforting…

I’ve thought about having a dab radio, but the signal for those is even worse than fm. We live in a rural area, so, we are probably lucky to have internet at all…  Oh Well…

Music is great therapy… Concentrating on joining in with songs  takes my mind off stuff that seeks to worry me… Planning hobby projects helps to make tomorrow feel like worth waiting for. I treat myself by sending off for stuff… Waiting for it gives structure to my days and weeks…

It is almost Saturday as I write… The postie comes tomorrow… I wonder if any of my items will arrive? Sometimes the waiting is part of the fun, deliberately engineering nice things to come to my home… I’ve had some fab stuff of ebay, and met lots of wonderful people along the way…  More later…

God bless you for reading…

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Hi everyone… Well, the package arrived, but it contained the wrong item! The whole thing needs to be packaged up and sent back to the supplier, so that they can send me the correct item… Everything has been handled, without washing of hands… I may have done so before eating a sandwich, but, most likely not… Will I get ill? Well, it was a couple of days ago now, and nothing has happened yet… I don’t even expect it to now… So that was a successful experiment…  Well done, Wannabe! 🙂

That is something we should all do more often… Praise ourselves for each advancement… After all, it is ourselves who are doing the achieving…  Jacket potatoes in  the supermarket, followed by everything else we not only place in our trolley, but back on the display as well, after reading all the labels we can…  Will it do any harm? On the contrary… The most it will do is stimulate peoples natural defences to become stronger. In effect, doing all a favour, a good turn, if you like.

So when the parcel goes back, the delivery drivers will handle everything… It won’t pose a problem, even though they almost certainly won’t have handwashing facilities in their vans…

What about bread and cakes? How can they ever be any form of sterile? We cannot wash the wrapping without totally ruining the contents… Same as cheese. What about sugar? It doesn’t deteriorate, but it comes in paper bags, that are handled by the till operator, who themselves has handled, well, anything you can possibly purchase in that store. And nowadays, supermarkets sell a bit of just about anything… So, We’ll be okay… Same as those who depend on us.

It’s not ‘Contamination’, but ‘Bontamination’, a good and helpful process… Look it up on the internet…

Okay… Tomorrow I will take it easy… Today, I went to the gym… Used several different machines, well, the ones I’ve been taught how to use… We do wipe each machine down after use, as a matter of courtesy to other members, same as they in turn, do for me. It is how it is… We all protect each other…

But that is a gymnasium… Not an office, supermarket shop.  In a shop, up until Covid, no shop ever had antibac gel… We just didn’t see it. And now, that is beginning to happen again now, as we ease off a little bit, and let the forces of nature take back control.

Let’s be honest here… Not everyone washes and dries their hands in public loos, Do they? Some of us do, but just the once, before touching the doorhandle to return to the main restaurant. Just watch a few people… Bring it into our world as the norm… What most people in society don’t even think about… Especially when the loos is the only place in the building where we’ll find a sink and taps… It’s right, isn’t it? So…

Let’s be a bit defiant… We have to consciously do it to start with… But it can be done… And then praise ourselves for the achievement… Every time.

More later.

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

 

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Okay… Today… Events…. my son’s flat, pick up dry rubbish to go to recycling centre, Drag it all downstairs, out of the front door, into the car, all loaded up. Then it was a five minute drive to the recycling centre, unload everything into the appropriate skips and bins, back in the car, to supermarket… Food shopping…Cardboard boxes of breakfast cereal, pay for everything by card, and return home by car. Put the shopping away in cupboards in kitchen, then finally made a cup of coffee to relax. Something missing? At which points did I wash my hands? Well… I didn’t… Not at all… Oops! Well, it’s too late to do anything about it now. To be honest, it just didn’t cross my mind, for a nice change. It’s only what everyone else would do… Never mind what is on my hands, What is on theirs? What have they put on ‘my’ shopping through the tills?

Nothing will happen… It never does… I’ll update later to see if I get tummy-ache… I’m saying right now, that it won’t happen… Let’s just give it a couple of days… It will be breakfast first, from a cardboard box…

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Yep!

Nothing happened. No one got ill.

I went to a posh Italian restaurant… Used my fingers for everything except the mozzarella cheese and chicken and mushroom Risotto. It’s easier to use fork and spoon for those, cos of all the sauce. Did I wash my hands at all? Only once in the public toilets on a railway station nearby. I used their soap, but still had to pull door handles to re-enter the street. Will anyone get ill? Of course not, at least not due to me. They will have used their own fingers, and the food was very well prepared. It is the same in a supermarket. Wedding reception… Party… Discotheque.  We are defended by our own built in biology.  I took delivery of a portable music keyboard a couple of days ago. It was made in 1989… And of course, will never have been cleaned… How would we? It has probably been played literally hundreds of times, and been in many locations. I was eating sandwiches when I opened the packaging… I don’t think I will get ill, Do you?

More in a couple of days…

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Well.. Guess what… Did I get ill? Of course I didn’t! And the musical keyboard is fantastic. I finally have something to practice on, and use to play along to the radio. I have ‘itchy fingers’ whenever I hear music.

The restaurant caused no ill-effects… Everyone was fine, as far as we know. And no, I haven’t contacted anyone, but then, no one else has contacted me either. So I would have worried for nothing…

I will post on here tomorrow,  when I will have time.

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Okay… A buffet today… I went loo first, washed hands, and pulled door to get back into the cafe… The same as absolutely everyone else was doing… No illeffects so far…  Everything got put on the conveyor belt in the checkouts… I  used to worry about the belts… These days I just don’t care. Just the same as the other customers… And as for the car park outside. Why is it that people get out of their cars, then forget they are walking in a car park. The car is electric, but they don’t look anyway… Oh well, if I run them down by accident, they will be the only ones injured… People just don’t care anymore. Sure, if I hit them, it is gonna go down as being my fault, but if the want to sue, they have to survive first. Then there’s the arthritic pain in winter, for the rest of their lives… All of a sudden, the compensation won’t seem like enough… By which time, they’ve lost their GP, cos now they have a reputation for suing people, and the solicitor will get a large part of any money they may be awarded. Never mind, I’m safe in the car, I’ll get a couple of points on my license, but they have physical disability to contend with…

And I used to just worry about the germs on the door handles!

Anyone on here like jellybabies sweets? Dusted with icing sugar…                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        They won’t be sterile, even before I touch them… What about Pizza? Does anyone dare use a knife and fork? Why? The Italians don’t…

More later…

God bless you for reading…

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Well, so far, so good… Yesterday I went swimming… I wonder if people wash their hands after going loo, and getting in the water..? It is dosed with disinfectant… No worries then…

If I pick up a book in a library, what is on the pages? What has always been on the pages of library books? They haven’t always been in plastic sleeves… We didn’t have any concerns pre-covid… We just took the risk… I used to find breadcrumbs in library books… There’s no way of knowing… People eat whilst reading… Have done for decades… Coffee break magazines, biscuits and toast… Today it was a packet of crisps… Nobody washes the packs before opening… The ‘meal deal’ sandwiches won’t be sterile… We open the pack and eat the bread without waiting… Be honest… It’s always okay…  Taking a drink from bottle or can… Drinking milk out of the waxed cardboard cartons… Those didn’t even ‘look’ clean. And we’ve all survived…

It isn’t easy to ‘let go’ like this… I’ve had two courses of CBT, and read lot’s of books… I’m finally taking charge of my life now… I’d love to qualify maybe, make use of my life experience. But I’m too old to do that sort of study, let alone, work in the industry… I’ve had enough, and just want to play with my grandchildren! I will however, stay on the forums… I have a lot to give back in my life. More later,

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Well… Today my grandson visited… Complete chaos! But it is okay. I crawled about on the floor with him for a little while… Hands and knees on the carpet. Some of us have outdoor shoes on… Now… If that cannot make him ill, it won’t make me ill either. I went in a burger bar yesterday, on the way to a visit. We use the touch screens to order food and drink. Are they perfectly clean? Let’s be practical here, there’s no way they’ll be perfect. The only place in the building to wash hands is the toilets, and all the doors coming back into the restaurant have pull handles. So ‘Nobody’ had clean hands. We ate the burgers and the fries, with bare fingers. (Is there really any other way?) Now this is a national, in fact, International company. When we went abroad on a holiday trip, some years ago, on a coach, we sought out this same restaurant company, cos we knew what the food was like. And I paid by card, which helped immensely. If just one person of the thousands that eat there every day, got the slightest twinge of tummy-ache, it would be all over the tabloid newspapers as a ‘scoop’. But they don’t. So, when dealing with worries about contamination issues, in fairness, the people around us have already got something on their hands, before we even enter the ‘equation’. We don’t really put people at any more risk that they aren’t already at. In Biology, it is termed ‘Normal Flora’, the stuff that is usually there, five minutes after washing hands, in contact with air etc. And that has been there for most of our natural lives.  If we kill every germ, we will ultimately deplete our resistance, but also, some germs/bacteria are termed as good. I believe the word for that is ‘Symbiotic’.  The problem is when we have difficulty just letting go a little bit, and let nature do it’s thing for us. That is clinical evidence in our defence. Reasonably clean…

God bless you for reading.

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

I have just received an item through the post… I bid for it on ebay, and won it. It is a very old, plush cuddly tigger figure. Now, I’m purposely not going to clean it. What would I use?  It takes batteries, so it cannot be put in a washing machine… And I’ve already hugged it. I hazard a guess that it no longer has germs on it, it is bone dry. When I opened the package, it was well packed. And sealed up in what looks like a bin-bag type plastic bag. That’s what kept it dry on it’s journey to me… I totally refuse to wipe over parcels. After all, once I start, Where would I stop?  It is less stressful not to start. I’ll cuddle the toy, along with my other cuddly toys…

Finally for now, I don’t use an ordinary mouse to operate the computer, but a ‘scrollball’ mouse. It cannot be sanitized, and I’ve had it a year, whilst eating cake and biscuits… If there is anything on it, it certainly isn’t dangerous to me, or indeed anyone else. Now I’m not quite so worried about what I touch or come into contact with, life is getting a lot more relaxed… My natural happiness is starting to re emerge, after years and years of taking life far to seriously…

God bless you for reading…

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Today, it is a cuddly toy… I won it on ebay… I’ve no idea where it has been before it came to me… It looks okay… Should I clean it? and if so, with what? I have already decided to do nothing. I have to open it up, because there is a fault with the internal motor drive, it is a sound action figure, that dances to music in the room. I will get to it tomorrow, when the appropriate tool arrives from Amazon. That gives me a free evening tonight. I may have a radio on overnight, I don’t cope very well if the room is too quiet… I also have a shaded light on, the colour purple is soothing. I’ll rest tonight… Friday is a good evening for me, the weekend looms… I visit the grandchildren tomorrow… I love doing that, it keeps me young. Then church on Sunday… That goes okay, cos I’m popular there… I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to, and I think it is coffee and cakes this week!  Nobody gets onto me, I am there on my terms, not some other person’s.

Okay… The computer… I haven’t cleaned it ever… I wouldn’t be able to do it properly if I tried. So it is best not to start… Resist the temptation to clean, just resist it… For as long as possible… Until I forget to do anything regarding cleaning. The compulsions do actually disappear. Each time I resist, the time I need to resist in order for the compulsions to die away reduces. It gets easier each time… To begin with, it feels like it will never go away, but it does… It most definitely does…

On to smashing my latest compulsion! Remember… Each time we resist, the lesser the compulsions get… They actually get less! Believe me, they do! Try it just once with something you normally struggle with… Just once… Defy it. Let us know how you get on… That is what these forums are for… It belongs to all of us here! Just for us Ocd’ers.

God bless you for reading…

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

The cuddly toy is mended… I haven’t sprayed it… Can I let my grandchildren handle it? If they wish to, Yes… They have their own natural defences, as of course, do I.  I need to share my joy with others, cos it feels good to do so…

I had cheese on crumpets for lunch today. Pulled the block of cheese out of the plastic wrapper… Anything on the wrapper? Did it transfer to the the cheese? It was handled by the checkout operator in the supermarket… They sell all manner of products… It always goes through the checkouts… Has done for years… Anything there has been okay for years… So let’s let it be okay today, now, right this minute…

Loaves of bread… We’ve never washed them, have we? And tubs of margarine… Packs of butter… Salt and vinegar in the fish and chip shop.

At the amusement arcade… Coins… They don’t even ‘look’ clean…

This is all evidence in support of ourselves. Others aren’t perfectly sterile, so why on earth do we need to be? Banish the tyranny of the ‘Shoulds, musts and oughts’,  They are often self-destructive.

Let’s carry on being good people…

Wannabe

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Hi everyone… I  am wondering whether or not to continue with this thread… Is anyone actually reading it? The original idea was that, If I can get away with this, then maybe you can too… In some of the cbt books, there are some things that even I won’t do myself… But if the therapists can survive doing some of the really extreme  tasks,  then I just have to be safe doing what most people do on a regular  basis, in the course of a normal life… I can continue if you wish me to, but without response or reaction or feedback, I  am burning myself out… This is voluntary  after all… Please do let me know….

Wannabe

[searchingforanswersParticipant]

Good morning, I’ve been reading some of your thread on and off for quite a few months – I’ve found it really interesting. Sorry I’ve only just made an account as just haven’t been in the right headspace. I will try sit down after Christmas and post whereabouts I am with my ocd. I’m not really sure how/where to post on this forum yet but I will try figure it out.

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

Forum Moderators here: do you enjoy reading Wannabe’s posts? We think they’re a valuable and vital part of these forums.

Anyone who feels the same way is of course encouraged to comment!

And we just want to remind everyone that you can also start a topic like this one. You can use your topic almost like a public diary, sharing your experiences living with OCD, your daily challenges and goals, or whatever you’f like share with forum users.

Topics like these make these forums a more personal, friendly and welcoming place, where everyone feeld like they belong!

Forum Moderators

[Author]

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