Relationships

[RosenrotParticipant]

Hi:

I’m not sure if this is a specifically male or female issue, I feel that I am not made for “dating” (as in using specific dating apps or sites to look for a partner) anyway because I always felt uncomfortable with the idea of, well, meeting someone just for the sake of meeting him as a love interest. On the other hand it is of course way easier to find a possible partner using apps than waiting for someone to magically appear in the neighborhood, gym, or at university. Generally I also feel that the dating world is centred a lot on love and obviously many people use dating sites to get it. For me, as someone who doesn’t only suffer from OCD but also from physical disease, that’s quite off-putting. But then again I also know of impaired people who found genuine love on dating sites.
And maybe you are not even using apps or websites to get to know women, so sorry if this is not the case at all.

All I basically want to say is, I feel there’s a lot of pressure. When I look at the young people around me, nearly everyone is either in a long-term relationship or dating around, and sometimes I feel that others think there must be something odd about me as I belong to neither of these groups. Yet I think it’s important to free myself of the expectations others might have (if they have them at all) and just be me as good as possible.
And, like others here have pointed out, maybe it’s worth trying to focus on all the other great aspects a relationship brings with it apart from intimacy? It’s been some time that I was really in love with someone but I remember how I just loved everything about this guy, including all of his quirks and “weaknesses” of course. And humans aren’t machines …
Just a little story: A friend of mine once told me, when she had only met her boyfriend a couple of months ago, how they both suffered from terrible diarrhea after they had had some Asian food from a rather shabby diner, and how horrible it was when they both ran to the toilet for hours then in her tiny apartment (I know that’s probably on another level with contamination OCD). Afterwards they could both laugh about it and they’ve been together for years now. I guess if you find the right person, he/she will be willing to share a messy life with you and know that no one is perfect, or rather love you for your imperfections. Even if it’s about something as complicated as OCD.

 

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

Forum Moderators here – just checking in, as it’s been a while since you posted your topic.

We want to be sure you know that, in addition to contacting the OCD Action Helpline and Email Service, you can visit our website’s Resources page: https://ocdaction.org.uk/resources/

You’ll find lots of helpful web-based resources on topics such as:

• An introduction to OCD
• Assessment and Diagnosis
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with Exposure and Response Prevention
• Funding specialist treatment
• Getting a Yes from the NHS
• Good Quality CBT with ERP
• I am a parent of a young child
• Making the Most of Therapy
• Medication for OCD
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
• Preparing for a GP Appointment
• Primary Care for Adults
• Reassurance seeking
• Secondary Care for Adult
• Student Space: Management and Keeping Well
• Support at University
• Support for Families and Carers
• Treatment Options
• Treatments Not Recommended for OCD
• What to Look for in a Therapist
• Your Journey through the NHS

[Author]

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