Homepage Forums Support From Our Forum Community OCD & Intrusive Thoughts Please help, I’m so confused and don’t know what to do

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  • #13038
    Random girl

      So i’ve had tocd for awhile but it‘s kinda started to change over time. I used to be scared I wanted to be a boy, but now I’m scared I want to be either non binary or a more masculine girl, Even tho i’ve always liked being a(not super girly but not masculine)girl and never thought twice about it when I was younger. I think this started a couple years ago when I was figuring out I liked girls(I’m pretty sure I’m bi)but was scared and in denial a bit so I would avoid every “gay looking“ girl I saw, so this has been building up for awhile, but now I’ve accepted myself more so now it’s changed to being scared I want to LOOK like that and this is literally the most anxiety I’ve ever felt in my life(I’m literally shaking while writing this). I was just on TikTok and saw this non binary person who used to be a girl and I decided instead of avoiding them I would watch their videos to use as erp. So I was watching them, kinda anxious but not bad, but then I did kinda think they were attractive and then I thought “is this feeling actually me wanting to look like that?“ and then my stomach dropped, it felt real tho, like it felt weird but sorta like I liked it? Can ocd make you think you like something you don’t? I really don’t want to want to look like that tho and i’ve never wanted to look like that before(now I’m doubting my memory tho), I’ve never even wanted short hair, but what if I did and I was just in denial because I wanted to look like a “normal girl“ or something? Sorry this is so long but I’m really freaking out, I really don’t know what to do, like I’m not sure why this is bothering me so much but it is. It feels like I don’t even know myself anymore, at this point sorta like I’ve never known myself


        Hi! There are people who post on this forum with the same thoughts as you. Have a look through – you are not alone!



        Forum Moderators

          Hi there:

          Thanks for coming to the forums for support and we’reo sorry you haven’t had many replies yet. Please don’t take this personally or ever think you’re alone. It may just be that forum users are taking time to consider how to reply.

          And please remember that you can also contact the OCD Action Help and Information Line to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

          Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential and unbiased help, information and support for people with OCD (or who  think they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD and all understand how it can impact your entire life. Contact our Helpline by:

          – phone: 0300 636 5478 (UK number).

          – email:

          You can also find out about support groups on our website. These offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

          Local independent support groups

          OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups

          If you don’t live in the UK,  look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Look in the section “Find Help” and then under “Listing Types”, choose “Support Groups”:

          And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

          Best wishes,

          Forum Moderators

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