Obsessing about something I said in anger from ages ago

[Anonymous]

I said something I didn’t mean in anger about a loved one.

 

I’m an adult and this happened a while ago but sometimes I feel so bad. My mum treats me like I am her parent sometimes, and always need validation from me ect. I’ve never felt particularly ‘mothered’ by her. I find it so stressful and annoying.

 

Once she kept telling me how tired she was, moaning and any advice I give her gets ignored… So after she told me that I said to my husband in another room “if she’s that tired, just die” (she didn’t hear it) I felt awful after I said that as I don’t want her to die, I love her so much.

 

I think I am a evil bad person now because I said that!

[ArchiveParticipant]

Absolutely not!  There won’t be anyone in the history of the world who hasn’t threatened something at some point. We obviously don’t mean it really, it is just a way of letting our frustration out. If we didn’t let our frustration out before it got dramatic, we’d all end up mending a lot of our possessions! Anger is a normal, human emotion. People tend to use the gym or contact sports to burn off that unwanted adrenaline.  Just think of when we were younger, and parents used to threaten to kill the kids when they did something wrong in their eyes!!!  Come to think of it, I’m now wondering how I lived to become an adult myself…  This situation is linked to the ‘Fight or flight’ response we all have in us, from the days when we had to cope with wild animals…  I still remember what my parents used to say to me, but they’ve passed on now, so they cannot hurt me anymore…

Wannabe

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[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

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[Author]

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