I feel intense hate for my nephew and feel ashamed

[Anon35Participant]

I have a 16 month daughter, when she cries, something she doesn’t do rarely, I dont care, I know what she is crying for.  She’s my best little friend.

 

However, my wife’s brother has a son the same age, but he screams, runs about being much more messy and throws toys be around, then he just cries randomly and it goes on for hours sometimes, doesn’t stop

 

This happened again, and I kept her family say ” Maybe he’s not well”  and in my anger I said ” no stop justifying it, he’s like this because this is how he gets what he wants, and he is acting up for some reason ”

The parents have been asking family last minute for months to get child care, and it’s ended up being me and my wife several times, pushing double figures now.  They have not arranged child care at all, and are taking advantage of everyone.  Family then says but they are trying now, and I said I bet they come to one of us and ask for child care permantely.  Me and my wife both work, and have our own daughter to care for, why do they think it’s ok to pass their kid into us?  Yesterday we had him all afternoon, which a time I’m finished work and my wife is finished work.  Lucky we both work from home.  It’s hard work, as we just want to chill out with our toddler.

Problem is, wife’s brother never tells is what his son needs, just assumes we know, doesn’t pass on any information and gets away with being this way, cause he’s the golden boy for some reason.  He is a selfish man, does nothing for anyone and after all these times we’ve took his son, he’s never taken our daughter, not even to offer us lunch or an early meal while they fare for Harper.

So when the toddler is here, my nephew the anger is fuelled inside me and I just look at him and think for I hate you, you are so annoying, I have to watch you again because your parents don’t make an effort to arrange child care, and ask us, who already has toddlers.

Intrusive thoughts run through me and I’m like ” God I want to just bop you, or bap you, and tell you how much f-kin work you are because your lazy ass dad won’t arrange child care.

I don’t know what’s going on?  Am I a bad person?  Or am I feeling this way because I truly can’t stand my wife’s brother and he’s throwing all this extra stress onto us for no reason, not considering how it effects he, and not giving a second thought to it.  He never does anything for anyone, known him for 16 years and he hasn’t done one single thing for us.  So I get so angry when looking after his son, because I know he just doesn’t care about others feelings.  That makes me feel this hatred Towards his son and I don’t know how to fix it?

 

Please help, or phone the police on Mr for these thoughts!!!

[Forum Moderators]

Hi

Forum Moderators here – just checking in, as it’s been a while since you posted your topic.

We want to be sure you know that, in addition to contacting the OCD Action Helpline and Email Service, you can visit our website’s Resources page: https://ocdaction.org.uk/resources/

You’ll find lots of helpful web-based resources on topics such as:

• An introduction to OCD
• Assessment and Diagnosis
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with Exposure and Response Prevention
• Funding specialist treatment
• Getting a Yes from the NHS
• Good Quality CBT with ERP
• Making the Most of Therapy
• Medication for OCD
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
• Preparing for a GP Appointment
• Primary Care for Adults
• Reassurance seeking
• Secondary Care for Adult
• Support for Families and Carers
• Treatment Options
• Treatments Not Recommended for OCD
• What to Look for in a Therapist
• Your Journey through the NHS

We hope you find this helpful!

Forum Moderators

[Ocdocdocd9Participant]

These thoughts are totally normal. Everyone has intrusive thoughts to some degree. It’s us ocd sufferers who end up thinking about them too much and feeling evil because of them. That’s what OCD is, it twists everything and makes us question ourselves and our morals.

 

You aren’t a bad person for thinking these things, you’d be a badder person if you acted on these things and didn’t give a damn. Everyone thinks random silly thoughts, I’ve thought about pushing people over and all sorts, random people too. But ocd makes us think thoughts and feel like we will act on them and are evil. It isn’t true.

 

You’re just stressed with having to care for your nephew and your brother in law being so one sided with everything is stressing you out and making you think his son is annoying. He probably is annoying, kids are annoying sometimes let’s be fair. But you aren’t bad for thinking this, as I said, you aren’t acting on them so it’s okay. You don’t enjoy the thoughts so it’s okay.

It’s just your ocd playing tricks on you. Please try not to worry.

 

How are you feeling now?

[Author]

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