Hi guys I’ve just had a OCD relapse and I’m struggling to get out of it I just wanna know if someone can relate.
for a couple years I’ve had server harm OCD and recovered a year ago and have had no issues since then but recently I’ve spiraled again sadly. I’m freaking out cause I’m scared I want to kill and I keep getting thoughts in my head you’ll never recover fully the only way for you to stop being scared is by killing. U want to be a killer so the thoughts go away , you want to kill you won’t feel bad, you’ll enjoy killing once u try it etc I feel like I have the urge to kill and I’m scared shitless. it’s just really complicated at the moment and I truly don’t know what’s the problem and I’m so scared I want this to stop I feel sick constantly this is new thoughts to me and I don’t know how to deal with them. I know I don’t want to kill, I can’t even hurt a fly I’ve never even been in a fight. I just want this to stop again but it feels so permanent. Can someone please relate or have similar thoughts? cause I feel so alone, is this OCD or am I a murder cause I’ll lock myself in a hole so I don’t hurt anyone.
I know I shouldn’t be seeking re assurance as I’ve gone through therapy and came out and have dealt with it before but I think I just need some reassurance to be able to read as my old account got deleted due to inactivity cause I was successfully recovered, funny now 😂
