Extreme moral OCD, looking for support

[recoveryqueenParticipant]

I go through the same obsessions every day that have stuck with me for years. They are just always there. It feels like this heavy list of crimes I’ve committed that are all thought and feeling-based hanging over me every day. I also have had bizarre moral OCD-type and OCD thoughts that I feel uncomfortable disclosing to my therapist. My OCD has cruelly convinced me that I made up psychological abuse I’ve endured and that I fake my emotions and am a manipulative person. It’s colored my memories from when I was abused and it’s extremely painful and uncomfortable. Even if all of this stuff is OCD just messing with my head, I am so pained by the feeling that my OCD is telling the truth that I wish I was dead. It feels so lonely to struggle with something that has affected me this way. I’m scared medicine won’t fix it. I hate that I have to live with this terrifying disorder and that I’ve had to experience it at all. I try to tell myself that God understands OCD and this is all just in my head. I just wish I didn’t have to think anything at all and could actually feel there was quiet in my mind.

[johna2Participant]

How long have you been in therapy? What type of therapy? And how much benefit do you think you are getting from it?

You say that you feel uncomfortable disclosing certain things to your therapist. I felt the same way when I was in therapy with a psychiatrist. I didn’t tell all, but it would have been helpful had I done so. I may not have suffered for so long.

I doubt medicine is meant to fix things. I reckon it’s part is to reduce depressive and anxious symptoms and panic so as to enable you better to cope with therapy etc. I take citalopram and it certainly stopped the panic attacks I was having.

Maybe reading some materials on mindfulness may help, and then practicing in day to day life.

I hope you soon get better.

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

Forum moderators here; we’re sorry you’re finding it difficult to cope with your obsessions and moral OCD-type and OCD thoughts. It may help you to feel less alone if you read and keep following these forums, where you can read other users’ topics similar to yours.

You can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential and unbiased help, information and support for people with OCD (or who may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD and all understand how it can impact your entire life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

You can also find out about support groups on our website. These offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website: https://iocdf.org/  Under “Find Help” select “Listing Types”, and then “Support Groups”.

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is here to help and support you.

Forum Moderators

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

Forum Moderators again; We just want to remind you that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

You can get confidential information and support for your OCD from a Helpline volunteer who knows how OCD can impact your life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

We hope this reminder is helpful,

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

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