Existential harm OCD? Lack of morals?

[nixxe]

Last night I was watching a video about Canadian history and it brought up the statue built in honor of those who died in a war of something like that but my mind instantly went to saying stuff like “who cares if they died” and I felt good about it like some sort of psycho so I pondered about why we honor veterans to try and correct myself. This is the thing I hate about myself, I always question things humans should naturally understand and ruminate on it. Like why we love and care about others or what’s wrong with murder/death. Was I just not hugged enough as a child? I swear I used to be so empathetic before, now I’m evil. What’s worse is that I don’t even have anxeity over this stuff anymore and my emotions are very dull now. This no anxiety thing has been going on for like 4 years now so it can’t be a backdoor spike. I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore. All I can think of is that I’m either a psychopath or I have some sort of existential harm OCD or a lack of morals. I used to obsess over yin and yang because it’s about how you can’t have good with bad and vise versa and I would have thoughts like “will maybe I should do bad so we can have good, obviously it’s needed” and I would fight these thoughts, I don’t think about it anymore but I definitely don’t like the symbol anymore, not after OCD ruined it for me. I hate myself, it’s like I don’t know right from wrong anymore and the thoughts feel genuine. I don’t even know how I got this way. One day I had major anxiety and was Afraid of going insnane and killing people and now it’s like I don’t care if someone dies. What is wrong with me? What do I do? Will I ever be able to love again? Please understand that I don’t want to think like this, otherwise I wouldn’t constantly try to fix myself mentally. I just want to be normal again.

(Transferred by Moderator)

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

Forum moderators here; we’re sorry you haven’t had many replies yet. Please don’t take this personally or ever think you’re alone. It may just be that forum users are taking a bit of  time to consider how to reply and support you.

And please remember that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential help, information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your entire life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

[Forum Moderators]

Other OCD-Related Support Services – Find Out More!

In addition to OCD Action, other organisations provide useful, reliable and relevant support for people with OCD and OCD-related conditions and their friends, families and carers. Find out more on our Resources page: https://ocdaction.org.uk/resources/

These are just some of the many organisations:

Maternal OCD: They provide help for women with perinatal obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), a debilitating anxiety disorder, which is treatable. Maternal OCD’s aims are to:

• Raise awareness of perinatal OCD to healthcare professionals, mums to be/new mums, researchers and national decision-makers
• Provide information and support to mums and their families
• Encourage and support perinatal OCD research

BDD Foundation: Provides support for people with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), a preoccupation with perceived defects/flaws in appearance, often cause excessive self-consciousness. The Foundation:

• explains that BDD is a treatable condition and how, with the right help, recovery is very possible.
• provides information on support and treatment services available to UK residents
• recognises that the BDD community is worldwide. They encourage everyone to seek help and support through online services that can be accessed anywhere.

Asto Clinics: Asto is a UK charity providing treatment based on what works for individuals living with OCD. Asto’s founder, Steve Turnock, suffered from severe OCD and is aware of how life-changing the right support can be.

International OCD Foundation: The IOCDF is a large nonprofit serving the OCD community world-wide, including family members and health professionals. The IOCDF is known for:

• Their mission – to ensure that no one affected by OCD and related disorders is alone. Their community provides help, healing and hope.
• Their vision – that everyone impacted by OCD and related disorders has access to effective treatment and support.
• Their work – providing up-to-date education and resources, quality professional training, and advancing research.

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