Doomed and I deserve it

[Dreamcatcher62Participant]

I’ve had ocd for nearly over 10 years. I had bad POCD about a year or more ago. It got that bad that I had to google search images to test myself.

I’ve recently developed depression again and my OCD has been the cause and that’s gotten worse, like the guilt of what I did in the past.

It wouldn’t leave me alone with what I’ve done in the past and I want back on the images I searched to reassure myself that I am not attracted and have nothing to worry about. I just feel bad and wrong though, because they were google image searches and they were nude photos.

I am a creep aren’t I? Even thought it was solely for checking. I am still a creep. I know I will never marry and I deserve it. Has anyone else done this? Has anyone else had their ocd go this far and you’ve resorted to this? Or am I just an absolute disgusting vile monster

[wannabefreeParticipant]

You are certainly  not a a disgusting vile monster… You are an organic creature  with a carbon based organic brain, that is naturally disposed to be curious. We have virtually no control over our thoughts… And our thoughts will sometimes programme inbuilt physical reactions, because, biologically we are nowhere near as advanced as people would like to think. Just look at what world leaders do…Compared to them we are as pure as the driven snow.

Never feel guilty for being human… We are litle more than  organic plumbing, and one day we will see ourselves as the wonderful humble people we are. If and when you marry, they will find you… Most likely when you have actually stopped looking.

We all have a right to be here, never forget that. It is our own geneticcal makeup, and biology that determines that, definitely.

Wannabe

[johna2Participant]

You are not morally culpable for anything you did as a compulsion.

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

Forum moderators here; Please don’t ever think you’re alone: remember that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential help, information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your entire life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

[Author]

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