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      I’m glad I don’t feel so alone. I really appreciate you replying to my message. I think it’s such an awful thing because it will like convince me of things and lead me to do these awful compulsions and it made me so mad because that’s not who I am and I just feel so gross and disgusted with myself. Like I’ve never been so self loathing and I think I find it really hard to be kind to myself. I feel like to help make the guilt lessen I have to punish myself. I feel like there’s something constantly weighing over my head. All I do nowadays is cry and lay in bed. I want to be better but I just really wish this never happened to me. I feel like whatever I plan on doing in life it just never works out. All feels so helpless as of right now.

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