Childhood regret – pets

[Anonymous]

I’m currently in therapy for OCD my obsessions change. I’ve recently had a death in the family in which I think my ocd has sky rocketed.

Basically a random thought popped up. When I was about 11 or 12 the next door neighbours dog always tried to be near me, I was always so embarrassed and used to push him away. The one evening I tried to encourage him, I even got onto my hands and knees, ironically he wouldn’t come near me. Then the neighbour came back from ours, so I got up and never thought anymore about it. Til almost 30 years later. I remember at the time thinking about it but now looking back from an adults point of view I realise I didn’t know hardly anything about it. I don’t know if I was curious, just bored or dumb. I’m a girl by the way.

ive had two male dogs myself in my early 20s and having them didn’t bring this past memory up. I’ve never looks at animals in that way either. Even back then I definitely wasn’t, I think I was just being stupid. My head is telling me, ” if the neighbour hadn’t of come back you would have” ” did you remove your clothes” I’m nearly 100% sure I was fully clothed but now I think I’m adding in false memories. I also had a dog growing up myself and never did anything.  That’s what I mean I didn’t understand.

my compulsions are to Google, wish I hadn’t in a way. I’ve read so much dumb stuff kids have done either with other kids or animals. A common theme tends to be putting [content edited by moderators]. My ocd is still telling me mine is worse, even though nothing happened.

help me someone rationalise.

[johna2Participant]

Try not to worry about it. Kids, and adults, do all kinds of odd-ball stuff. It’s really not that important.

I highly doubt you have a thing for dogs, as for over 30 years you’ve shown no inclination to do anything strange.

I think you are probably correct. Some of this stuff is false memory.

If I were you I’d try to ignore any intrusive thoughts on this theme and try not to ruminate about it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, the only problem is I’m finding that reassurance no longer works like it once did. If I don’t do any compulsions I feel that I just feel flat but the obsession is still there constantly if that makes sense.

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

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[johna2Participant]

Feeling flat could be a result of over thinking. Your brain is probably exhausted.

It really is all about not giving in to compulsions, including the temptation to ruminate.

Try to let the thoughts be there without engaging with them.

[Author]

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