CBT query – exposures

[popsiclestickleParticipant]

(content warning for suicidal ideation – also this is very much just my specific experience! I’m sorry this is so heavy lol)

Hi everyone, so a month or so ago I finished my 12-week course of CBT with an NHS therapist. My therapist was lovely and really tried her best, however it was quite difficult as it was a phonecall-based course (we never saw each other face to face) and she didn’t really have any experience with my specific obsessions (existential, death, reality etc), and so kind of had to figure out how to deal with me on the fly.

When confronted with a trigger, I tend to struggle a lot with immediate thoughts of suicidal ideation, and regardless of this I’m sure I can speak for everyone when I say that doing the exposures was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Thing is, since my course finished, I haven’t really been keeping up with regular exposures.

CBT is based on the idea that after an exposure, your anxiety levels will naturally start to decrease, and this seems to really work for most people, however in my specific situation I found that the regular exposures kept me at a permanent state of miserable anxiety, and because of regularly looking at this stuff, I was constantly giving myself new material to ruminate on. It’s really hard to exist while you’re constantly imagining killing yourself, and this is why I stopped.

I was also speaking to my boyfriend about this, and he seems to think (and I think he’s right) that my obsession is deeply tied in with the death of my dad a few years ago, and it’s impossible to treat the OCD without looking at the bigger picture of the grief that fuels it.

I know that CBT is the gold standard and seems to really work for most people – and I desperately wanted it to work for me. I think I really just want to know if I was doing something wrong – I really feel like a coward for avoiding triggers again, and I can feel myself becoming sensitised to them again! Should I be pursuing grief therapy instead, or combine it?

(footnote: I want to emphasise that this is suicidal ideation, and it’s not something I would do in reality. there’s no actual risk and I think going into a psych ward would make everything worse)

[Forum Moderators]

Hi

Forum moderators here; we would like to remind you that you can also look at the OCD Action website for resources about therapy for OCD.

Have a look at our Treatment Overview page – it’s important that you know as much as you can about your treatment options and what good treatment looks like. We have a range of information for you to help you: https://ocdaction.org.uk/learn-about-ocd/treatment-overview/

You can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential and unbiased help, information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand OCD and how it can impact your entire life.

Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

You can also find out about support groups on our website. These offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, you can look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Look in the section “Find Help” and then under “Listing Types”, choose “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Best wishes

Forum Moderators

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

Forum Moderators again; We just want to remind you that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

You can get confidential information and support for your OCD from a Helpline volunteer who knows how OCD can impact your life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

We hope this reminder is helpful,

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

We’d also like you to know about this additional support OCD Action offers for you.

OCD Action Support Groups

Online Support Groups:

• Provide a safe and welcoming environment
• Allow you to connect with others and offer mutual support without judgement
• Are all peer led, assisted by a team of trained volunteers.

Who can join?

Anyone based in the UK and living with and/or affected by OCD or a related condition including:

• People who have these conditions, whether diagnosed or not
• Their parents, caregivers, partners and loved ones
• Students aged up to 25 in college / university/ other educational institutions
• Young people aged 16 – 17
• Young people aged 18 – 25

Types of groups

OCD Action offers specialised groups including:

• Pure O – General\Pure O – Intrusive Harm Thoughts
• Pure O – Scrupulosity & Morality
• Checking OCD
• Contamination OCD
• Perinatal OCD
• LGBTQ+ OCD
• Men’s OCD
• OCD for People of Colour
• BDD
• OCD & Autism
• OCD & Hoarding

What important details do I need to know?

• You can sign-up to a maximum of two groups initially. After attending at least once, you’re welcome to sign-up to another group
• Participation is easily accessible via Zoom, or
• If you don’t have internet access, we have a few phone support group places
• There is no charge to join
• Because of the high demand, please only sign up if you intend to use your place(s)
• To retain membership, you must attend a session at least once every three months

What are Navigating Services sessions?

As a Support Group member, you’ll be automatically be invited to monthly Navigating Services Sessions. Attendance is optional, and you’re free to opt out of the session mailing list at any time.

Led by our Helpline team, these sessions include:

• Information and support on accessing recommended treatments through the NHS and/or privately
• Opportunities to share lived experience of accessing support (for attendees or others)
• Answers to questions/concerns regarding recommended treatments and/or service provision

Want to know more about Support Groups?

For more information before you sign up:

• Email sign-up@ebtsupportgroups.co.uk
• Call 020 7253 5272
• See our website: https://ocdaction.org.uk/online-support-groups/

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