A little scarier…

[RosenrotParticipant]

Hi,

I hope everyone’s day is going (more or less) well. Everything can be a little scarier than usual with Covid but I still hope things will get better, and that maybe my mood too will be generelly less depressed in summer.
My morning did not start well today… I have already contacted people in different European cities as my internship next semester could be in various places, so I thought I’d better ask for an accomodation sooner or later, because especially in the capitals and big cities it can be hard to find a room. One woman from a Protestant Church I got in touch with was quite enthusiastic. I told her I really hoped I could do my internship in her town but that due to Covid etc. it was not 100% sure yet and I would write again later. However, this morning I received a mail from her saying that she had “firmly reserved” the room for me but that I would “not have to pay anything in case I could not come due to Covid”. This is another situation where my OCD thoughts kicked in… I suddenly got really scared. Had I written something wrong? Had it sounded like I already knew exactly I was going to do the internship and take the room? Why did she even mention payments, I have not even signed anything? I actually just wanted to slowly start looking for a room and now maybe I have committed to something?
In fact I know that even if this woman got the impression I really wanted to rent her room, there is nothing legally binding between us and she cannot really “harm” me. But still… I feel anxious. I wrote her another reply, saying that I hoped she did not misunderstand me and that I’d understand if she rented out the room to somebody else who could give her a definitve yes before I could.

A couple of years ago I got into a problematic rental agreement and I think that is where my fears of accidentally having made a commitent or having signed something stem from. Back then, I had found a room via a flat-share website and had already moved in. But I only saw the contract later on, and it turned out some things were not as my flatmate had informed me, the rent had risen and the contract had a minimum tenancy period of one year during which it would be impossible to move out. I still signed, I had to, as I already lived in the apartment and could not just leave. But I suffered from panic and fear for a long time, I was so scared that I had acted stupid and gotten myself into something bad, that I would loose lots of money….in the end I could solve everything but it was very stressful and nerve-wracking.

In any case I have decided not to send out any more mails regarding rooms right now.

I have a Zoom seminar now… more later.
Potatoes here are hardly ever pre-washed by the way, they are often still covered in visible dirt/soil so I often have to scrub them first, at least if I want to eat the skin, too…

Rosenrot

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