Reply To: OCD and writing
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Absolute ‘Gold dust’ this one.
Writing things down makes them tangible and fixed down. When we write something down, the sentence can be re-read, over and over again, without the the individual words moving around and subtly changing the meaning of the sentence. Our thoughts can be a nightmare.
How many times have you said something to someone, then immediately ‘re-heard’ yourself saying the statement again, in every possible context, especially negative, just in case we could have possibly, even just a tiny, tiny bit, caused offence to that person, unintentionally yes, but still caused offence? Something they could possibly then come back at us with in the future? Did you grow up amongst people who would more often than not, take the wrong end of the stick, so to speak?
I know I did…
Being bullied at school… ‘Kangaroo court’ scenario’s. I just couldn’t please everyone to get them to just ‘leave me alone…’
Everything was picked up on. Even now, I can be aware of someone observing my actions, seemingly so that they can catch me doing something less than perfect, so that they can pick me up on it. I don’t know if it really gives them a sense of superiority over me… But it definitely gets me down a lot.
People do that, don’t they? Especially the media… Drag someone else’s name through the mud, make them seem small, in an effort to create some sense of contentment. But, it doesn’t work for them, so they do it more… It used to be a management tactic to make people perform their jobs better, or do better at school…
It wasn’t me who couldn’t learn… It was the teacher who didn’t know how to to teach me, something maybe simple and obvious to them, but not to me.
“Everyone else in the classroom can do it, So why can’t you?” So we get embarrassed to ask them to explain something over again. To be honest, it is very likely that very few of the class could understand it, but, faced with possible ridicule, don’t admit to it, and anxiously await the sound of the bell indicating the end of the lesson…
Not all teachers can teach… But then we are all different, and none of us good at absolutely everything.
So… Next time you feel the need to ask the teacher… Take a furtive glance around the room, and seek out the relieved looks on the faces, of those who also cannot understand, and secretly wish they were as brave as you are, for putting your hand up to ask!!!!
They are all there… It’s just a case of spotting them!!!
Now for another cup of coffee!!
Wannabe