Send me a DM and we can converse back and forth more directly about your OCD. Think about it this way – if you have been struggling with these issues for 30 years, do you think the ways that you go about dealing with them are effective? That’s what a lot of OCD patients start to realize is that the ways in which we are going about trying to solve the issues, or stop the problems aren’t actually working the way’s we would like. What you want to do is examine the ways in which you go about dealing with these issues, and then try to figure out in an independent and critical manner where you might be going wrong. Where are you actually empowering these issues and keeping them thriving through your attempts to solve the problem in the first place. Does that make sense?