Maybe it might be a good idea to just let go of it… If you wish, write it all out like an essay, and bury it on your computer. No one else needs to see it, but what you will have done is externalised it, so it doesn’t take up so much space in your thoughts… Cos, it is highly likely nothing will come of it anyway… If you ever get to see the recording, it is probably nowhere near as bad as you are trying to remember. We tend to do something called ‘Catastrophisation’.  There is a book by doctor David Burns MD about what catastrophisation actually is.  But once it is written out of your system, it will most likely fade away on it’s own.