Reply To: The last ten years of contamination and checking ocd. And where I seem to be now
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Hi everyone. What about handling of keys? Bunches of keys, Old keys, Electronic car keys. We cannot wash them… So I assume that no one does. And what is the point of washing hands after using keys? It would be, I guess, on an a par with when we use mobile phones. The plastic case on mine has very little plastic left, it is now threadbare canvas material. I cannot wash it, and anyway, What could I use? So, let’s just go with the flow, so to speak. Having Jesus along for the ride, makes things a little more joyful, although today has been pretty depressing. It just happens that way sometimes. I’ll more than likely be fine in the morning, after getting some sleep. I went into a gym today, worked out, then went into a heated swimming pool. I came home so relaxed I was falling asleep. Absolutely exhausted. Is everything clean enough? Well, if anything ever goes wrong, we don’t hear about it! So, it is fine. The swimming pool doesn’t smell strongly of chlorine, not like the 1960’s when they made us swim in disinfectant, so strong it made my eyes sting. The smell caused me to have panic attacks… Nowadays they use something different. How do you people eat potato chips?, I almost always use fingers, especially when there is a battered sausage with it. If there is gravy, I just lick it off my fingers! Well, children do, don’t they? So, so can I now. It won’t make me or anyone else ill, at least, it hasn’t so far… And that is viable evidence. I can argue my defence with that one…
One thought came to mind whilst I was at the swimming pool… Towels on the floor… Where people will have probably walked before me… Does it get germs on the towel? We really don’t know, do we? I try to disregard it completely, I give it no thought time. As long as I don’t start thinking about it, or thinking into it, the worry doesn’t even get started. I’m doing the same as everyone else will be doing, we have no choice. They have no choice. And they are okay… If it is okay for them, then I assert my right that is therefore must be okay for myself too. Just roll the swimming costume into the towel, and get it straight into the duffel bag.
The gym equipment is in really good condition. Easy to wipe contact surfaces after use. I only use a small amount of weight. But that is okay for me. I’m not competing with anyone else. I believe it is doing me good, even though it is tiring. I need to lose a bit of weight, but this is really about feeling healthier, and better in myself.
Tomorrow is a day off, so I’ll get some hobbies attended to. Music, without continuously washing my hands… I’m getting better at that now… I’m taking a risk, but no more than anyone else is also doing… I may even get some recording done! I have an old camera, but it has fabulous microphones on it. It has to be on charge all of the time, cos the batteries are also quite old, but it is good enough for me.
And what about the bed I will sleep in tonight? A bed is never really clean, right? And if anyone ever got ill, it would be allover the papers… We don’t hear about anyone else needing to spray their pillow… I’m gonna risk it now… More later…
God bless you for reading.
Wannabe