Reply To: The last ten years of contamination and checking ocd. And where I seem to be now
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Hi everyone… Today I joined a health club… It has a gym, a heated swimming pool, and a cafe. I have joined alongside my wife, so that we can go together in the same car. Will it be clean enough? Well, the place looked really good, and the main thing is that the pools are gonna be warm… I just cannot bear cold water… The gym is really nice and airy, and the equipment absolutely brilliant. Everything is clean and tidy. And afterwards I can have a cuppa in the restaurant. It was just by chance that we found the place, a short drive away from here. I won’t be carrying any antibacterial stuff with me. I don’t need to. Nobody else appears to be doing so… And it is in nice surroundings, and I don’t have to stick to a particular time… We just go when everyone else is at work! It actually works out cheaper than trying to set up a spa at home in the shed, the electric would price it out. And, as it is a national chain, when I go to visit places, I can call in anywhere. So… What are the implications here? Well, I’ll take my own towel… I might not bother with socks, it will be easier to cope without having them in my locker. I cannot actually swim properly, but to be able to go in the gym, then go for a rinse in the pool will be fantastic, and a cuppa afterwards. I am my wife’s main carer, So I can support her too. She is paying for it all after all. And it is her car that gets us there…
How can I possibly make anyone else ill? We all go in the same pool, that is properly set up. If I touch a door handle, I may add to, or take something from it. But, if we consider the concept of Bontamination, it is most likely to be a good thing, at least it has been so far…
My studying has stopped, completely. I have made the decision to stop. I don’t have enough hours in the day, and it was a pointless qualification for me anyway. I’ve achieved things that would have been impossible had I not, at least, commenced the study, so now it is right to leave it alone, and get on with enjoying life… My clothes are good enough… My hands are good enough… My shoes are good enough… I seek to think much less deeply about everything… Just reasonable care, reasonably clean, and just leave it at that. This is not half as easy as it sounds. Sometimes I think that I’m being negligent… But hey, no more negligent than those around me. And don’t those around me have their rights? And don’t I thus have the same rights as them? Of course I do! So that makes me free to enjoy… Without forever trying to prevent other people, getting from me, what they most likely have on them anyway… They are already ‘bontaminated’, even before I enter the same room!
So… When you come to me for support, just for a moment, consider that you, yourself, are my therapist, dealing with the difficulties we both experience…
What would you suggest that I do?
Well, Let’s both of us go and do that then… And report back when we next meet.
More later.
God bless you for reading…
Wannabe