Reply To: The last ten years of contamination and checking ocd. And where I seem to be now
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Hi everyone… For the last couple of days I’ve struggled to get on here! I think there is something wrong with my web browser or something. I thought I’d been banned!! Never mind, I’m here now… I really don’t know if anyone out there is reading this… But I’ll carry on, just in case…
Ocd is a crippler, let’s be honest. It wrecks careers, livelihoods, and most of all, people. Us… I wrie because it keeps me sane, and sort of controls the intrusive thoughts a bit. The concept of Bontamination is complete now, there is nowhere left to take it. Either the world will accept it, or ignore it, that is entirely out of my hands now, the books are all published, and now it is time to do something different.
What about biscuits then… Sticky chocolate… Licked off the fingers, then wiped dry on my trouser front. Children will do this all the time. Is it dangerous? Are chocolate biscuits dangerous? Not really!! At least, not so far… So tonight, I will sleep. I have a radio on at night, with cooling down music, to take away the stress of the day. The channel I listen to doesn’t keep telling us the time, so to be honest, if I do happen to awaken during the night, I won’t know when or for how long… For those of us reading this, OCD is awfully serious. I used to believe that I contaminated the world around me. The idea that maybe everyone else was doing exactly the same as me, just didn’t come into it. I tore myself to shreds… Me, myself, before others inevitably got their oar in, so to speak. But us Ocd’ers are good people… We try too hard, to care about things so out of our control, it’s amazing. And there are a lot of people in the world who literally don’t give a damn. They go to public places, never wash hands… And yet, Aren’t these the very people who would sue me, if they thought I myself could possibly be the cause of their discomfort? The ‘Where there’s blame, there’s a claim’ brigade. I’ve come across a heck of a lot of these people in my lifetime… Especially in care work. When these people dislike the human race so much, what are they doing in care work? Anyway, I digress.
OCD is a real struggle, even to the point of myself wondering whether or not it is even OCD we have anyway. There are common traits, but to be safe, a qualified doctor is best to give us a firm diagnosis. There are other sections on this website, for us to find help. I regularly post, as I have for the last ten years or so, as I’ve gradually clawed my way back up from the depths of a severe contamination based form of OCD. I’m proof that it is possible beat OCD, maybe not overnight, but, overtime, with the right support and suggestions. Nobody on here is qualified, but there are people in the world who have been there, done that, and indeed still do wear the proverbial Tee-shirt at times.
I choose not to drive much these days… My other half can drive, but I’m more interested in what is going on alongside the car, rather than what is going on in front. So I do at least, have the option. Tonight I will rest, put the radio on so it isn’t silent in my room, and when morning gently comes, Just watch and assert that; ‘Today is safe, Watch and Smile’.
Okay, I promise not to wait so long before getting back on here again soon, and will in the meantime, work out some ideas we can share together, on our quest, through this sometimes uncertain world.
God bless you for reading.
Wannabe