Masturbating to the thoughts

11 February 2020 - 16:27

Profile Image
Forum User
Join date: Oct 2016
Thanks: 18

So far I am the only one who masturbates to the thoughts that scare me.  I think this is denial or self hatred or something.  I never read anyone who does this.   I saw a guy today yawning and lifted his arms over his head to yawn and stretch and he exposed his stomach a little bit and without thinking or checking I instantly felt something in my groin like a jolt of arousal sensation.

Then this afternoon I was going to jerk off to thoughts of women but it wasn't working that well so decided to check to gay thoughts and got fairly aroused and was able to finish.

Does this happen to anyone else?  I really believe I am gay now. I feel deep down I know I am.

 

Pages

14 February 2020 - 0:33

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Oct 2016
Thanks: 18

No.  I saw therapists.  Waste of time.  And at the end of it if I'm gay anyway whats the point?   I dont gove a shit about being anxiosu anymore I dont ever want to do these things or have these sensations.  Fuck this place.

14 February 2020 - 0:39

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Jul 2018
Thanks: 41

Then you can get therapy to accept that you are gay and help you become happy with who you may be. And if you don’t give a shit then why are you here in the first place? Because you give a shit

14 February 2020 - 1:07

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Jul 2018
Thanks: 41

Did you even do what the therapists said to do?

This post has been thanked 1 time. 14 February 2020 - 1:25

Forum User
Location: New York City
Join date: Nov 2017
Thanks: 110

I have to say, I really pray for you guys because I don't know how you could allow this to take over your lives for years, that's insane. To think at one point you'd put your foot down and say there's more to life....

Best of luck!

BEST! 

14 February 2020 - 23:59

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Jul 2018
Thanks: 41

Ahhh okay, thank you mr. pudding and Dave how ya feelin bub?

This post has been thanked 2 times. 15 February 2020 - 1:01

Forum User
Join date: Feb 2020
Thanks: 3

Hey Dave I made an account so I could reply. I recently was diagnosed with pure obsessional OCD and I struggled with hocd since I was 16. I'm aware I'm not gay, I'm interested in women and have no attraction whatsoever to a guy ever making an advance on me.

What made me get into hocd was that I enjoyed seeing other men jerk off, and that made me feel really insecure and unsure of who I was and if I was in denial and I would obsess for days over how 'wrong' it was and abnormal I was. I would think of what I saw in video and jerk off to that, but I had no attraction to the man himself or being involved with any man. This would send me into a spiraling anxiety/depression that I was lying to myself and I felt dirty but I knew that I wasn't gay, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I might be? It was back and forth for years.

Eventually, I found a ton of quora answers that said how normal this was and how it doesn't make you gay, it's extremely common to do these things and not be gay. Whatever you think of in your arousal doesn't correlate to who you're actually attracted to, no matter what your ocd thoughts try to convince you of. It's all fantasy in the end, nothing more.

"Gay denial" was thrown around way too easily in this forum. The reason you feel shame is because it doesn't correlate with who you feel you are. Its very possible to be aroused by these thoughts but leave it at arousal and thats it.

15 February 2020 - 1:10

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Feb 2020
Thanks: 19

hello brett wow I have the same "problem" I was having relationships with women and when I came across a video of a guy doing his thing I got aroused. I was so scared that I might be gay. How old are you now ? how did you get past this ? Greetz

This post has been thanked 1 time. 15 February 2020 - 4:31

Forum User
Join date: Feb 2020
Thanks: 3

hi bentomanyplaces. im 20 now. the answers on quora talked about it being male nature to be interested in what another guy's junk looks like and its common for guys to bond through jerking off together, or watch each other jerk off, but not being attracted to the guy himself or wanting anything sexual. purely a bonding experience, or a fantasy. that helped me feel more comfortable with watching it and being aroused and less guilty

15 February 2020 - 9:54

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Feb 2020
Thanks: 19

Epicepic, cool thank you I’m kind of relieved right now. But one more question, when I ask my soccer team to all jerk off together for male bonding, don’t you think I’ll get some weird looks ? 

Pages