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      I feel the need to tell everyone something. I ruminate because it seems like the only way to get rid of my obsessive feelings. In a way it felt forced at first since I couldn’t get rid of them. After I did im not even sure if I focused on the right thought. The idea was that I wouldn’t be able to and that even if I confronted myself with my thoughts, rumination wouldn’t work, so I tried it. It unfortunately worked, and it was quick as well. I contacted 2 crisis holiness and payed 2 different therapists for answers which im still waiting on. Don’t make the mistake of assuming I was enjoying myself after. That thought is now in my brain and will show up again, either tonight or tomorrow. I had it again today in the mornign, yet had no ruminating. I evened it out by getting rid of it to cancel it out.

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