<div id=”post_message_8200655″ class=”m-content-body”>Hi there, just wanted to share a bit as I’m a newbie.
I am 33 years old and since the age of 13 I have been a binge drinker. Don’t get me wrong I can go months without a binge, I do not drink regularly at all, but when I do drink, I binge. I binge and then I am crippled with my ocd telling me i have done something terrible, that the police are coming for me, that I don’t deserve to live. My ocd fills in the blanks of whatever I can’t remember from the night of drinking. The worst thing you can think of? Yes, my ocd will have told me at some point that I have done that while under the influence.
Also, if I DID DO something I’m not proud of while drunk, my mind will blow it out of proportion by x10000000. And unfortunately, the only thing that cures me is time. As time goes on the thoughts vanish. The guilt, shame, HANGXIETY. It goes away after a couple of weeks. Then I swear I will never drink again. Then a few months go by and there’s a party or it’s Christmas or it’s a day worth celebrating and here I go again…. Drinking to excess. And it all just repeats itself. Like a broken record. When will I wake up? Not asking for sympathy, I know it’s my own fault, no one else’s. Just wondering if anyone else is similar to me? And how you cope with post-drinking blues/anxiety/false memories. I have suffered with depression and anxiety and ocd since being a child.
Thanks for reading. Oh and I’m currently on day 2 post birthday party binge and I’m struggling. Please pray for me.</div>
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