So I’ve been diagnosed with ocd for about 2 1/2 years now just after I had my son I’ve had lots of worrying thoughts but sometimes they don’t hang around too long, I’ve been invited to a hen party in June as one of my best friends is getting married and I know this girl is going that I hate anyway my intrusive thoughts are now coming in saying I would want her (the girl I don’t like) at my sons funeral comforting me like that’s what I would want and no matter how many times I say no in my head it’s over ruling me like what the hell!! I would die for my son and I certainly wouldn’t want that but it’s so convincing me and I hate myself I have such high anxiety at the thought! How can I get over this and overcome this! I feel I just don’t deserve to live this life and it’s really upsetting! I’m due to get my nails done afew days before the event but my head and thoughts are telling me if the thought is convincing me whilst I’m getting my nails done then I go and get pictures it will just remind me of how much I hate myself and it’s like I want this! And when I look back at the photos il just hate them because it will bring up the memory that I had of the situation! Please someone help if they can! I’m just panicking about this now and I don’t know what to do about it, I’m due another baby in 2 weeks aswell so I bet it won’t be long in convincing me bad stuff will happen to her too?
