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#29586
wannabefree
Participant
Participant

    Hi Dear friends…

    Well… They had an announcement on our local radio station, to say that our local health authority is enlisting… One of the things I heard was, ‘Trainee psychotherapist’. Mmmm… I know what it is like to be a long-term patient…

    But unfortunately, as I’m not an academic, No chance… Oh Dear… I could have such a lot to offer…

    Another knockback…  I guess I’ll just have to drop back onto my other hobby of dabbling in writing… Don’t you sometimes think that us patients no more about this than the so-called qualified professionals?

    Tomorrow I go caroling with the Salvation Army band. It’s really good fun, especially when the music goes wrong!!!

    Tonight I will sleep… Christmas will be okay… I don’t know how, but somehow we’ll get through it all. I try not to listen to the old Christmas songs too much… They are from a time when my life was not very happy at all. Andy Williams one, It’s the most wonderful time of the year’, takes me back to a time when it most certainly was not the case at all. I was an unhappy little boy, who didn’t know or understand why…  This time of the year is massive in contrasts… Some happy times… But mainly, not so happy times. My relatives didn’t get on, and as the eldest of five children, it was often down to me to rescue things.

    We don’t have to be blissfully happy all the time… No one ever is.

    I wear a baseball cap all the time when low… The wide peak forces me to hold my head up, relaxing the muscles in my neck. It works, you try it. It lifts the spirit, enabling us then to cope with things better. And especially at Christmas, most of us need all the help we can get…

    The same old TV stuff, not much of it new. People acting jovial and happy… They are acting, it isn’t even likely to be real, although acting it to start with can be a great step up.

    I have suspected Epilepsy now… So I no longer drive a car. I wasn’t that interested anyway before. It is a good excuse to let someone else cope with the stunts that are going on on our roads at present. I’d much rather sit and watch!

    So… Christmas cards… I have sent a few… Postage is getting ridiculous now… And I struggle with addresses. People who never speak anyway throughout the year… And presents… What do you get for people who already seem to have everything… How much to spend… I’m broke anyway… I couldn’t live up to other peoples ideals anyway. I try to live up to my own now, which are much less demanding… I’ve given up trying to be a perfectionist… After all… No one else is, Are they?  All those people who sit watching us, so that we make a mistake and they can pick us up on it, making us feel really awful. Simply knowing that they probably cannot do better, doesn’t always enter our mind at the time.

    Do they get pleasure out of doing so? Not for long methinks…

    But when you or  I get it right at the final attempt… Yes, That’s a good place to be…

    Cos people will put us down when we are trying so hard to be cheerful. But if we are each living our own life… That just has to be best. Especially for ourselves.

    I still have the sniffles… The cold and flu treatment just doesn’t touch it. It will be nice to feel reasonably okay on Christmas day, I’m in charge of the catering in our house! Something to do with never really knowing for sure, how it will all turn out. And when it does… Why can’t I remember for next time!?

    So… Let’s be real good to ourselves over the festive period. Don’t try to overstretch… The slow method works… Plenty of relaxation, and not expecting it to necessarily be brilliant… Next Spring and Summer are not that far away, and the nights will be lightening up real soon. If it snows where you are, just stand in it and wonder at how silently it falls. Touch it… It is only water. Breathe steam into the air,  look up at the sky, and just enjoy the moment. Take your time… And most of all, take time for yourself… It is your time too.

    If you have a faith, God bless you, however you concieve him/her to be.

    And if you don’t, I wish you deep joy my friend.

    We will all be together next Friday. Possibly a little earlier, depending on my ability to link to the internet.

    I have a small amount of chocolate put by in case of emergencies(!).

    Have a wonderful Christmas everyone… We are all worth it, regardless of what we or others may think of us. We are good people at heart, and will one day indeed find true happiness.

    Until next Friday then, 29th December 2023, some time around 6.00 pm, or thereabouts.

    Wannabe