Update.  This has been going fine.  I still get times such as right now that I feel the shame and guilt but I think my wife has forgiven me.  I will always feel bad for hurting her but I still shame myself.  I don’t know why sometimes I feel attraction to work colleagues, I don’t even know why the girl in question I would have thoughts about.  Its not her looks, so I keep trying to understand why.

    I was speaking with her today, I like being around women who give me the time of day, I think that’s maybe where it comes from, but I am thinking like a normal straight man would.  I also like talking to guys that I get on with, I just don’t think about them, that’s the only difference that makes me so uncomfortable.


    I have just been trying my best to keep distance and when I feel I am being unfair then just move away.  Just don’t want to live that way either, dont want to feel shame.

    I still wish my wife was more intimate with me.  She still doesn’t like to talk and I’ve brought it up and asked why, says she does but not what I say, and I just talk normally, I said it doesn’t matter to me but she shouldn’t feel nervous talking about it and it’s either she doesn’t feel attracted to me or doesn’t like it.  She said none the above