Reply To: I am a not a good man
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With regard to your first paragraph…..think, if you were doing it with your wife you would be ill advised to be talking about the woman next door at the same time. But if you were thinking about the woman next door, that would be OK, because your wife would know nothing of it. Thoughts are just thoughts. You have no real need to feel guilt over them and constantly confess to your wife or anyone. That is like a compulsion.
Second paragraph….I can assure you that you don’t need to feel guilty. Think of other women as much as you like. It harms no-one.
Maybe you could find a private counsellor on line for your area.