Relationships are a central part of life, shaping how we interact with the people closest to us. OCD can add unique challenges to these connections, affecting how we relate to romantic partners, family, and friends.
This page explores the ways OCD can affect relationships of all kinds—how it can affect both you and your loved ones, and how you can build understanding and support together.
Family and friendships
Family and friendships are often our closest and most important connections, but OCD can sometimes make these relationships feel complicated. Misunderstandings, the need for support, or the effects of OCD on daily interactions can all add strain, but these relationships can also be a source of immense strength and understanding.
Watch Duke, Tabby, Mia, and Minnie share their experiences of how OCD has shaped their relationships with family and friends:
Romantic Relationships
Romantic relationships can be both a source of support and a challenge for someone living with OCD. Navigating a partnership while managing OCD symptoms might feel overwhelming at times, but it’s important to remember that relationships are built on understanding, communication, and care—things OCD can’t take away.
OCD can sometimes affect romantic relationships in ways that might not always be obvious. For example:
- Feeling distracted or drained: Intrusive thoughts and compulsions can take up time and energy, making it harder to stay present or engaged in the relationship.
- Communication challenges: Explaining OCD to a partner—or worrying they won’t understand—can feel daunting, especially if you’re new to the relationship.
- Support dynamics: It’s natural for your partner to want to help, but they may unintentionally accommodate OCD behaviours in ways that make symptoms worse, like offering reassurance or participating in rituals.
At the same time, romantic relationships can provide an invaluable sense of stability and support. Open communication about your experiences, boundaries, and needs can strengthen the relationship and help your partner feel equipped to support you. Working together to navigate the challenges of OCD can build trust and closeness, even during difficult times.
Watch Duke, Minnie, and Zack talk about how OCD has affected their romantic relationships:
When OCD Targets Relationships
For some people, OCD doesn’t just affect relationships—it actually becomes about them. Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a subtype of OCD where intrusive thoughts and doubts focus specifically on relationships. These thoughts often feel significant and overwhelming, but they’re not necessarily a reflection of the relationship itself but rather a way OCD fixates on creating uncertainty and fear.
ROCD can include:
- Doubts about your feelings for your partner or their feelings for you—questions like, “Do I love them enough? Do they love me enough?” or, “How can I be sure I like this person?” can spiral into uncertainty.
- Fear that your relationships with friends or family aren’t as strong or meaningful as they “should” be.
- Obsessive worries about whether your partner is “the one.”
These intrusive thoughts can make it feel like the relationship is being overshadowed by doubt or anxiety. Compulsive behaviours like seeking reassurance, overanalysing every interaction, or withdrawing emotionally can add further strain. For many people, this cycle of obsessions and compulsions can feel like it’s getting in the way of truly enjoying and connecting with others.
If this sounds familiar, it’s important to know that ROCD is one of many ways OCD can present. Like all themes or subtypes, it follows the same cycle of obsessions and compulsions. The good news is that ROCD, like all themes of OCD, is treatable. With evidence-based treatment like CBT with ERP, it’s possible to break free from the OCD cycle and rediscover a sense of clarity and connection in your relationships. Things can—and do—get better!
👉 Learn more about OCD subtypes on our ‘What is OCD?’ page
Finding Balance in Relationships
While OCD can create challenges in relationships, there are steps you can take to build understanding and support:
For You:
- Be honest about your needs: Let the people in your life know how OCD affects you and what support you need. This might mean explaining why certain situations are difficult or asking for patience during tough times.
- Set boundaries: If someone is unintentionally accommodating your OCD (e.g., participating in rituals), work together to establish healthy boundaries. This might feel difficult at first but can make a big difference in the long run.
- Take care of yourself: Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential! Whether it’s therapy, mindfulness, or simply making time for rest, prioritising your wellbeing helps you show up in your relationships.
For Loved Ones:
- Learn about OCD: Understanding the condition can help you feel more confident in offering the right kind of support. Knowing how OCD works can also foster empathy and strengthen your connection.
- Practice patience: Recovery takes time, and it’s normal to experience ups and downs along the way. Let your loved one know you’re there for them, offering kindness and understanding without judgement.
- Support without enabling: It’s natural to want to ease your loved one’s anxiety, but participating in compulsions can unintentionally reinforce OCD’s grip. Instead, focus on providing encouragement and supporting them in their recovery journey.
- Seek out support for yourself: Supporting someone with OCD can be challenging, and your wellbeing matters too. Consider joining one of OCD Action’s online support groups for loved ones —there are groups specifically for parents and partners. You can also contact our Helpline for support and information.
Building Support Together
OCD can add challenges to any relationship, but strong connections are built on trust, communication, and mutual understanding. By being open about the impact of OCD and working together, you can create a supportive dynamic that helps everyone feel seen and valued, even when things are tough.