Today it is nail biting

[wannabefreeParticipant]

Hi everyone… Today it is nail biting… Until I had an accident on my pushbike, and had caps on my front teeth, I would bite my fingernails all the time…  All through my school years… Mechanical Engineering Apprenticeship years… For probably twenty odd years… I would pick the blackness out of my fingernails, with drawing compass needle, or other sharp instrument… Then I’d bite my fingernails. I was an anxious little boy at school. I was always a worrier… My hands were absolutely never clean… We used ordinary bar soap… Swarfega was the soap of choice. Dettol was the disinfectant, or something called Ibcol.  Square deal surf was the washing powder, even Omo… We crawled about on the floor for fun… Nothing was particularly clean… Dog poo on pavements… Ice creams and sweets eaten without washing hands… Babies wore terry towelling nappies, that were always wet… Plastic pants that were always wet…  I would absolutely never wash my hands prior  to biting my fingernails… I would build go carts with planks and pramwheels… No pedals… Propulsion was by hand on tyres, similar to wheelchairs… And still I would bite my fingernails…  I even managed to suck some ink out of the top of a ballpoint pen. It tasted horrible!  I’d chew pencils… Pencils that had probably been on the floor… I’d pick up pens and pencils in the street, to save having to buy new ones…  And I’ve survived… I remember having six weeks off school with the Measles… I didn’t miss any other time off school… I went every day… Getting out of bed at the very last moment, and running out the front door without time for a wash or breakfast…  And still I would relentlessly bite my fingernails… Without washing my hands first… And anyway, the only place to wash hands would be the school toilets, which I avoided in case I got trapped by bullies.  Any problem? I really don’t know… Could I have made anyone else ill? I really don’t know… But I’m here to tell the tale…  And free to move on… I’ve left my bullies behind…  They can fight amongst themselves… I moved house to a different part of the country where they cannot find me…  My phone is ex-directory…  And I’m studying towards a new career…  Something with job satisfaction. I value that above having a highly paid, high stress job…  I’m of retirement age anyway, so part time will be great…  I don’t bite my fingernails anymore, because I have caps on my front teeth…  But it took a long time to stop… Dental work eh?  I don’t want to break anything! So… Just maybe, our hands aren’t the most dangerous parts of our bodies…  Maybe we are all more resilient when we think… Tomorrow is another day… Tonight is for sleeping… Safe, in the knowledge that, whatever happens, we will all get through.  We’re following Covid rules, and that is all we have to do. And wash hands occasionally, especially when sticky…  I make sandwiches straight on the worktop, which looks clean enough… Okay, That’s it till next week… Night night everyone.  God bless you for reading.

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