Thank you so much all of you for your advise. I’ve been trying to stay off of the site more and it has helped a lot. I’ve been feeling better, a little more depressed and idk if that just because my mind is trying to just shut down because of the intense anxiety all of the time, but it has been better. I still have instructive moments and thoughts and I hope to god it’s the ocd. Sometimes I still have a moments where I have a thought and I get a major response and i feel no anxiety and it makes me feel like I must like the thought like I’d just be okay with doing it and it bothers me so much. Then after the anxiety and moment is over I know I never want to do those things and I have no desire to do them. But those moments are so bad and feel so real It feels as if it’s all true and I am feeling desire or like I would like it and I hate it. It has gotten better and it seems like I do have good periods that are longer. I just feel like rn I don’t know who I am anymore and that bothers me. I’ve never felt so lonely and sad, and idk if that’s just my body’s way of trying to shut down because it’s tired from all of the intense anxiety, but I just hate how I feel. The doubt is always there and that bothers me too. I really hope it’s all just ocd and I can get over this soon
