I really need some advice. I can be really difficult to live with and constantly go on about many worries specifically related to OCD. My sleep pattern is out of sync and I went for a sleep today at 5pm to 10pm. Yes it can be annoying and I understand how hard I can be sometimes.
Many I times I can snap at my wife and get annoyed at her and will be extremely moody and that’s not nice at all and is unhealthy.
Tonight I was asking her a question and she said ” What” and I asked again and she didn’t understand me. I was facing down into the pillow so she said ” What are you saying I can’t understand you”
I was just asking her a question, and then I said it again and she still didn’t understand me.
Anyway she came running over and whacked me, but it wasn’t painful, however she whacked my back and said I was mumbling and then went away again so I told her to get out my face and haven’t spoken with her since.
She doesnt have a pattern of doing things like this, and has never hit me, however she always says I make her so mad and I feel like it’s completely unfair to blame me for her anger. I want to say to her that it’s totally not right and I don’t care how difficult I am, I don’t deserve to be felt like that, however I sometimes am scared to bring it up, not in fear she hits me but because I don’t want to have to deal with breaking up.
We have a daughter and some people online say, just leave no excuse, take the kids and go and all that, but I wouldn’t want to take the kids and go because I don’t believe I can look after a child on my own.
I have accepted I am difficult to live with and need to change myself but what’s the point if she gets to do that without feeling any guilt for it? She will just say I made her do it when on this occasion I absolutely did not make her do it. I asked her what time we were leaving tomorrow for our day out.
I could’ve spoke up and stopped talking into my pillow and that’s on me, so fair enough.
This is the first time I’ve ever thought this way, before I’ve never really felt that way at all as she’s never really hit me. One time she did when I was poking her sides and I totally deserved it.
It wasn’t hard though, she held back and I know she wasn’t trying to hurt me. I want to try and put it aside and move on l, whilst trying to be better myself and make life easier and work on my OCD as I understand its infuriating sometimes for her.
Any advice? I feel kind of sick from all this and don’t know if its worry and anxiety or the dinner I just ate that tasted terrible because it has vebe laying out for 4 hours.
Who knows
