So, as the topic title mentions, I was riding a really awesome wave of relief from my OCD for a couple of months. Any triggering thoughts were fought off with swift rationalization, and it felt amazing. I was so proud of myself.
The past couple of days, have been quite difficult, though. I do my best, to fight it off on my own, but at this point, I need some support.
So, I’m sure everyone has their own array of weaponry to help combat their type of OCD, and the many thoughts and reactions, it tends to bring with it.
Besides, rationalizing the situation, one of the things I would say to myself, whenever, I would someone in person, or on tv, or whatever, was either: “aw, they’re cute, which would be quickly followed by a “but not now”. or I would just simply state the latter in my head on its own, whenever, I would see them and get uncomfortable or anxious.
It never really bothered me because, I knew it was just a silly thing to say to assuage myself, but for some reason, the thought that it just sounds really gross, popped into my head and hasn’t left. Like the OCD, has latched on even harder, and is making me feel like I mean what I’m saying when I say that. Like, I’m actually wanting to do something with them but I’m fighting it off. Logically, I know that’s not the case, but those butterflies you get when you start to doubt yourself, are intense. They make me feel like I’m hiding something or am lying to myself. I would get the same ones, before I came out, so I cringe real hard, when I get an intrusive thought, and get those same butterflies. I know the butterflies, I’m getting now are more likely coming from shame and embarrassment, but still, they make me very uncomfortable.
Any advice? Anyone else can relate? Any one else have any mantras or sayings they don’t mind sharing, that help ease with the OCD thoughts and anxiety?
So many thanks in advance, and I would really appreciate any help!
