I feel sick

[Random girlParticipant]

(Sorry, this might be long)So I had TOCD for a couple months a while back, but it started going away, and now I have something sorta similar I think? It’s not exactly being scared I’m a boy but more worrying that I want to be a masculine girl. I recently fully accepted myself as bi and now I’ve really been questioning if I’m attracted to like ever woman ever now. And among those women were masculine lesbians. Tbh I felt weird, like thinking about it kinda made my stomach hurt and made me anxious, but at the same it felt like attraction? This feeling didn’t feel like attraction to boys or even attraction I’ve felt for other girls(usually it’s been more feminine girls)so I was so confused what this feeling was and if I liked it or not, but then I started thinking, what if it’s not attraction and it’s actually me wanting to look like that? I’ve never been a super girly girl but I wouldn’t call myself masculine either. And my whole life I’ve seen other girls who were feminine and thought that I wanted to look like them or dress like them, and every time I dress more feminine I feel like good and happy. Yet the feeling I feel about masc girls make me feel weird, also I get this feeling looking at myself if I look maybe kinda “masculine”(like just wearing a t-shirt and jeans and no makeup or something)but I still can’t seem to tell if I like the feeling or not?? It just makes me feel anxious and sick but what if that’s me wanting to look like that and just being in denial for whatever reason?? Idk if this even makes sense, but I feel like I constantly have to figure out what this feeling is, but ruminating on it doesn’t seem to help. And I’m just so scared that I would want to look like that, and I’m not sure why it makes me so uncomfortable but it does

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

Forum moderators here; we’re sorry you’re so upset about your intrusive thoughts and haven’t had many replies yet. Please don’t take this personally or ever think you’re alone – it may just be that not many users have experienced this themselves.

You can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential and unbiased help, information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand OCD and how it can impact your entire life.

Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

You can also find out about support groups on our website. These offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people too. Our information about UK-based groups can be found here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
• OCD Action Skype/Phone/Zoom support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/ocd-action-skype-phone-zoom-support-groups/

If you don’t live in the UK, you can look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Look in the section “Find Help” and then under “Listing Types”, choose “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Best wishes

Forum Moderators

[Forum Moderators]

Hello:

Forum Moderators again; We just want to remind you that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

You can get confidential information and support for your OCD from a Helpline volunteer who knows how OCD can impact your life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

We hope this reminder is helpful,

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

[Author]

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